We often fail to see the solution because we only recognize those things that fuel our fears.
Be a positive influence. Recognize fear for what it is and help others discover alternative solutions based on strength and courage. Your team is not a pity party. Pooh bear is not your mascot.
Strategic issues do not bear the characteristics of urgency and may not demand your temporal distracted attention. Do not mistake the bright and shiny distraction for the importance of the strategic.
It is your strategy that will tell you what to pay attention to, not the blinking notification on a cell phone.
Don’t try to be the smartest person in the room. Dialogue is not to see who is right and who is wrong. Dialogue is about discovery.
The most important discovery is self-discovery. Have the humility and the courage to allow other team members to see your authentic self. It is your authentic self that needs the help.
The only person who can hold you accountable is YOU. Invite and give permission to others to examine and challenge your commitments, AND understand that you are the only one who can keep those commitments. The only accountability is self-accountability.
We cannot hold people accountable, we can only hold people to account.
This is not a nuance of language. Holding others accountable is a myth. We cannot hold others accountable. We can only examine and challenge commitments. We can only hold people to account, to themselves for the commitments they make with themselves.
The armed and dangerous team tackles the tough issues. Its members run toward the fire, not away from it. Armed and dangerous teams become comfortable with discomfort. The pit of discomfort often holds the real issue.
When a team is comfortable and in total agreement, there is high likelihood they are not dealing with an issue of high consequence. It is only when there is disagreement and debate, where the team is in discomfort, that important issues are on the table.
Seek and give feedback graciously. The success of a feedback loop depends on being open to feedback AND being able to communicate feedback in a way that can be understood, considered and integrated into action. Giving feedback is not yelling. Challenge the status quo with clarity AND respect. Be straight AND sensitive.
Often, the problem we seek to solve is only a symptom of something underneath. We examine the symptom to identify its root cause. And, sometimes, even root cause analysis fails us.
Sometimes, the root cause does not lie in the problem, but in the way we see the problem. The way we talk about a problem is a function of what we believe, our assumptions about the problem.
Does the way we state a problem have an impact on the way we approach the solution?
What we say is what we believe.
Before we grapple with the problem, it is important to understand our beliefs and assumptions about the problem. It could be the problem is not the problem. The problem could be what we believe about the problem that is simply not true.
“But, I give them feedback,” protested Tyler. “They know how to do it right. Why don’t they just do it the way they are supposed to?”
“You want your team members to work the line in a specific sequence in a specific way?” I replied. “You are looking for very specific behaviors?” Tyler nodded his head in agreement.
“When they do it wrong, do you pay attention to them?” I asked.
“Of course. I am usually right on it,” Tyler replied.
“And when they do it right, are you right on it?”
“Well, when they do it right, they just do it right. When they do it right, I don’t yell at them.”
“Tyler, to get desired behaviors, you have to reinforce those behaviors in a positive way. Yelling at people for doing something wrong doesn’t teach them to do it right. Yelling just creates avoidance from doing it wrong. That avoidance behavior can by very erratic and unpredictable. They don’t know whether to scream or eat a banana.
“On the other hand, if you positively reinforce desired behavior, it becomes repeated and predictable.
“So, Tyler, you tell me. What has more value, erratic avoidance behavior or positively reinforced predictable behavior?”
“Work is personal,” Marjorie said.
“Would you want it any other way?” I asked.
“But, I don’t want the personal drama at work.”
“If there is no drama, people will bring it. What is your role, as a manager, to create drama, at work?”
“But, I don’t want drama,” Marjorie protested.
“The absence of drama in a person’s life is pathological. Why do you occasionally observe pathological behavior, yes, at work? If there must be drama, at work, whose drama do you want it to be?”
“You are telling me that I have to create drama at work?” Marjorie questioned.
“Drama is meaning, the interpretation of our world. Yes, I want you to create drama, I want you to create meaning, I want you to create context. Context for the work. Work is personal.”
“I don’t understand why people have to bring their personal lives to work,” complained Marjorie. “I don’t need the drama. Can’t they just put up this virtual wall between their work life and their personal life?”
“So, why do you think people bring their personal lives to work?” I asked.
“I don’t know, because they have them, I suppose.”
“If there is no drama in a person’s life, what do most people do?” I prodded.
“Now, that’s funny. If there is no drama, people create it,” Marjorie spouted.
“If there is no drama, at work, what do most people do?”
“I told you, if there is no drama, people create it.”
“Please, understand that an absence of drama is a pathological condition. Drama is the meaning, the interpretation of our human experience. If there is no drama, at work, most people will bring it. And, in the absence of drama, in the absence of meaning, most people will bring it. If you, as a manager, have not created the context for the work, people will bring it. If what happens outside of work is more meaningful than what happens inside of work, you notice that people bring that outside in.”
Marjorie was listening. She spoke. “So, what you are saying is, that work is personal.”