The Dreaded Conversation

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“I’m not looking forward to this conversation,” Rachel confided. “I have been dreading this for weeks.”

“So, you have been putting this off?” I answered (with a question).

She nodded. “I hate dealing with misbehavior. I would prefer to drop a few hints and hope they get the message.”

“So, hope is your strategy?”

Rachel chuckled, in pain. “I want to do this right. This conversation is treacherous. As the manager, if I screw this up, it could make matters worse.”

“How about three ground-rules?” I asked.

“Okay, I’m all in,” she replied.

“Now, if your purpose is to simply fire someone, cut them off at the knees, you don’t need this. But if your objective is for the team member to correct the behavior, put the performance back on track, then start here.

Three Groundrules credit to Pat Murray

  • No surprises
  • Re-visit the deal
  • Be slow to understand

No Surprises
The purpose of this conversation is to re-place the team member on stable ground so that corrective adjustments can be built. People have difficulty coping when the rug has been pulled from underneath.

Revisit the Deal
There was always a deal. Sometimes people forget the deal and that’s why their behavior gets out of whack.

Be Slow to Understand
Managers often jump to conclusions without the facts, trying to solve the problem before they understand the problem. Be slow to understand.

Personal Benefit

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“Speak in terms of the other person’s interests.” Those words rattled around in Susan’s head for a minute. Finally she spoke.

“But, you know, sometimes, there is stuff that I need to communicate. Sometimes there is stuff that is in my interest, or the company’s interest. What do I do then? I mean, it’s all well and good to talk about the other person’s interests, but what about me, what about the company?”

“Susan, you make it sound like your team doesn’t have you or the company at heart. In fact, they do. Let’s take the issue of efficiency. It is in your best interest as the manager and in the company’s best interest for your team to work efficiently, right?”

“Exactly,” Susan replied, moving to the edge of her chair. “I want to talk about efficiency, so how do I talk in terms of the other person’s interests when I want to have a discussion about efficiency?”

“First, Susan, understand that your team also wants to be efficient. Believe it or not, your team wants to be productive and do a good job. They want to do a good job for you and the company. And it is your responsibility, as the manager, to make that connection.

“Gather your team together. Divide them in workgroups of two or three people and tell them the topic for the day is efficiency.

“Today’s topic for discussion is efficiency. But before we talk about how we can be more efficient, let’s talk about why. For the next one minute, work in your teams and write down three benefits that happen when we work more efficiently. The benefits you think about, should be personal benefits to you. You spend 8 hours a day working here and you work hard. What are the personal benefits to you when the team works more efficiently?”

They Don’t Want to Listen

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“But, what if my team just doesn’t want to listen to me?” Susan protested.

“And, how does that make you, as the manager, less responsible for the communication?” I asked.

“Yeah, but, if they don’t want to listen, how can I make them listen?”

“Indeed, how can you make them listen?”

Susan stopped, this wasn’t going anywhere. “I can’t make them listen. If they don’t want to listen, I have to figure out how to get them to want to listen.”

“That’s a start. Remember, as the manager, you are 100 percent responsible for the communication. So, how do you get them to listen in the first place?”

“Well, I guess I have to talk about things they are interested in. I have to get their attention.”

“And since you are 100 percent responsible for the communication, that is exactly where you should start. Speak in terms of the other person’s interests.”

Don’t Hang It On Me

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“You’ve seen my workload,” Rene complained. “I have a ton of management issues I am dealing with. As Vice President of this division, I have a lot on my plate.”

“And one of the things on your plate is the hiring of a new supervisor in one of your production departments,” I replied.

“Yes, but don’t hang that one on me. I have a manager in that department. It’s his responsibility to make the hire. The less I get involved the better,” Rene resisted.

“Tell me, Rene, why is that supervisor role open, anyway?”

She saw the question behind the question, and smiled. “You know the last person didn’t work out, and yes, I stayed out of that hiring decision, too.”

“And, in your role as VP, as the manager of the person who made the poor hiring decision, who do I hold accountable?” I asked.

“Well, I guess, since you are sitting in my office, that would be me.”

A New Leader Emerges

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The group worked for ninety minutes in a simulation to complete a complex task. Once the task sequence and its steps were decided and practiced, the test was to complete the entire sequence in a twenty minute time frame.

I stopped the simulation to ask a simple question. “Which of you is the leader?” There had been no formal selection, but the group immediately looked at Sam.

“What is it about Sam, that made him the leader?” I asked.

The team members exchanged glances, wondering if they were all thinking the same thing. “Well, Sam seemed to know how to organize this thing together,” Marvin volunteered.

“How did he do that? You have not worked together as a team before.”

There was a brief moment, then Kyle piped up. “Sam pulled us all together, asked questions about what each of us thought. Within three minutes, he had a plan, assigned some individual responsibilities and we started working.”

Sam was chosen as the leader because he understood the complexity of the situation better (at least faster) than the others.

At that moment, Emma stood up. She was sitting on the sidelines, in fact, I wondered if she was paying attention.

“I think we can complete this task in five minutes, instead of twenty,” she said.

All eyes turned. In an instant, a new leader emerged. Leadership is an observable phenomenon.

Placing Accountability

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“it’s funny,” Byron thought out loud. “You always ask me, as the manager, about my contribution to the problem. Immediately, I always think – Who? Me? I didn’t contribute to the problem.”

“And, what have you discovered when you deny accountability?” I asked.

“I just have to stop. I have always confronted my team with blame-colored glasses. When I realize that I am the one accountable for the output of my team, everything changes. When I realize that I am accountable for the output of the team, I take ownership. Ownership is a powerful stimulant for caring about my team. Constructive coaching automatically follows, not because I have to, but, because I am accountable.”

“And your team?”

“They change too. They are no longer on the receiving end of blame, but are now, part of a team, supporting me, as their manager,” Byron nodded.

“And did that change happen because you circled the team to sing a song?”

“No, it happened because we got clear about accountability.”

Not Working Hard Enough

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“So, it turns out that the ten percent reject rate was caused by a burr on a threaded plastic part. Your inspection system failed to sample a new vendor at a higher rate and their sub-standard parts were co-mingled with good parts from your current vendor?” I nodded.

“That’s about it,” Byron agreed.

“And, yet, you yelled at your team for not working hard enough, until you discovered the defective parts?”

“I did,” Byron fessed up.

“Yet, your team was doing their very best already.”

“I know, but we were still getting the ten percent reject rate. I had to do something,” Byron protested, again denying responsibility.

“Don’t get defensive, this is important. You had a ten percent reject rate and you responded in two ways, one effective and one not.

  • You yelled at your team (not effective).
  • You inspected your system, ultimately focusing on receiving inspection, and sample rates of inspection (effective).

And where did you find the problem?”

Byron understood half the problem. “It was only when we looked at the system,” he said.

“And the other half of the problem is this. Your team is only accountable for full commitment and doing their best. When you yelled at them, you were holding them accountable for the ten percent reject rate. As the manager, you can ONLY hold them accountable for doing their best. It is you, as the manager, who is accountable for the output of the team.

“You solved the problem only when you examined your own contribution to the problem. As the manager, you are accountable for the system. It was a system problem.

“What did you accomplish by yelling at your team, holding them accountable for output?” I challenged.

“The only thing it did,” Byron admitted, “was to crush the team. I think I described it as down in the dumps.”

“And, what did you accomplish when you examined your system? You solved the problem. This subtle shift in accountability is electrifying. The team is accountable for full commitment and doing their best. It is the manager accountable for the output.”

Not About Trying Harder

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“You were right,” Byron admitted. “I took a look at the system. The ten percent reject rate was caused by a small burr on a threaded plastic part. The part didn’t seal right and the cylinder wouldn’t hold the pressure.”

“So, your team could have worked harder, stayed longer, given it all their might and the reject rate would have stayed at ten percent?” I floated.

Byron nodded. “I was sure it was the team. I am actually sorry I yelled at them. They just seemed down in the dumps, lackadaisical, you know, unmotivated.”

“Why do you think they were down in the dumps?” I pressed.

“Probably my fault. They were, in fact, doing their best. I thought their best wasn’t good enough. I was too quick to lay blame. In the end, it was my fault. I ordered some surplus parts from another vendor. Our original supplier was so good, we only sampled one in a hundred parts in receiving, they were always good. The new vendor parts had a 50 percent failure rate, but the samples we pulled, one in a hundred, didn’t pick up they were out of spec half the time. It was the system that allowed the failure rate.”

“And, whose system was that?”

Byron almost choked, but managed to get it out. “Mine.”

Just Try Harder

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“I know I am accountable for the output of my team, but we still have a ten percent reject rate. If my team would just try harder, the reject rate would come down,” Byron protested.

“Really? Just try harder means what?” I asked. “You told me your team was doing their best. Are you telling me, now, that they are not doing their best?”

“They seem a little down, discouraged. I know I have been on them. We need a 100 units of production each day and with a ten percent failure rate, that means we have to run 115, on average, to get our 100. If they would just try harder, they would get there.”

“I am going to make an assumption,” I said. “I am going to assume that your team shows up every day to do their best. If your team is doing their best, then there is something else in your system that is causing the failure rate. You are a smart guy. Get a big white board, draw out your system, get your team together and find it.”

The Value of a Stern Lecture

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“We are still missing our targets,” Byron said, shaking his head. “My team just doesn’t seem to be able to do what is necessary. We produce enough in volume, but our reject rate is ten percent.”

“What are you going to do?” I asked.

“I don’t know. We have been over and over this from the beginning. I even tried a stern lecture.”

“Are they doing their best?” I prompted.

“Yes, I believe they are doing their best.”

“They are doing their best, with full commitment?” I pressed.

“Yes,” Byron nodded.

“Then, you have to look in the mirror. You picked the team. You provided the training. You provided the tools for the team to use. You provided the materials, the process, the work instructions. You provided the inspection methods. You control all the resources around the work. You are accountable for the ten percent reject rate.”