Category Archives: Communication Skills

The Pep Talk

“Don’t they see it?” Suzette complained.  “We make a really great product for our customers.  Our customers are thankful, give us positive testimonials. As the manager, I get a strong sense of the impact of what we do. But the production team seems bored, just going through the motions. Two quit only last week. I try to give them pep talks in our team huddle every morning, but they break the huddle and shuffle back to their work station.”

“You have your answer,” I replied.

“What do you mean?” she drew back.

“Your question. You asked a question. ‘Don’t they see it?’ Obviously, they don’t.” I chuckled.

“Well, of course they don’t see it,” Suzette was emphatic. “I was talking about my pep talk. How can I change my pep talk?”

“You could drop it,” I suggested. “Drop the pep talk. What you say has no impact. It’s what they see. How can you show them?”

Written vs Verbal

Reggie was adamant. “I believe that using a written memo is the best approach to communicate my vision of the project, because it ensures consistency and allows everyone to refer back to the information whenever they need it. I feel that face-to-face communication might lead to misinterpretation or forgetting important details.”

“Written memos are useful,” I replied. “Tell me more?”

Reggie was quick to continue. “Sometimes I feel like the message gets lost or diluted when I communicate verbally. There have been instances where team members seemed distracted or didn’t grasp the complete vision during our face-to-face discussions. That’s why I thought a written memo would provide a clearer message.”

“Maybe that’s the downside of a verbal conversation. What about the upside?” I pressed.

There was a pause. Lasted forever, but silence often does the heavy lifting. “A verbal discussion, in a meeting, allows for immediate feedback on the project, understanding its purpose, its scope, its sequence. It may also surface questions that everyone has, but most are too timid to ask about. It might also create a sense of connection and trust in the team.”

“In what way could you combine both the clarity and consistency of a memo, a written description, with the improvisational value of a robust discussion?”

Memo Communication

“First of all, who’s goal is it?” I asked. Gordon was perplexed. His memo to the team fell flat and he needed their cooperation to complete the project.

“Well, it’s my goal, but it’s their goal. I gave it to them,” he explained.

I sat still. Gordon finally broke the silence. “Okay, it’s my goal.”

“And your job is to get your team engaged to achieve your goal. How can you do that? I gotta tell you. I looked at the project specs and the deliverables and the milestones aren’t that exciting.”

“Well, yes, but when the project is finished, overall, it will be quite an accomplishment. That’s how I described the vision in my memo,” Gordon continued.

“And you think a memo is the best way to engage your team? This is not Mission Impossible. Your memo is not as exciting as a tape that self-destructs.” I stopped and let Gordon stew for a bit. “No one listens to you, no one reads your memos. Yet, you need them to cooperate to achieve your goal. How are you going to do that?”

Who Has the Power?

“Okay, here is what I want to happen,” Gordon explained. His description was thorough. He painted a good picture.

“I can see your vision,” I replied. “How do your people see this?”

“That’s the problem. I think I explained it well, in the memo I sent out, but they don’t seem to get it. For some of my team, I don’t even think they read it, and I get a little heartburn from that.”

“So, you haven’t figured it out, yet?” I asked.

“Figured what out?” Gordon’s head tilted.

“As interesting as I think I am, I finally figured it out. Nobody listens to me. As interesting as you think you are, nobody listens to you.”

“But, I’m the boss! They have to listen to me.”

“Gordon, you have a kid at home, right? Do you, as the parent, have the authority, at dinner, to demand that broccoli be eaten?”

Gordon sat up. “Well, yes I do.”

“But your kid has the power to determine whether broccoli will, in fact, be eaten.”

Lost in Digital

“But, there are no real lions, tigers and bears, at least not in the workplace,” I smiled. “So the issue of safety, physical safety, shouldn’t be an issue. My team members are safe, whether they work in the office, or they work from home.”

Pablo grinned. “The physical threats of days gone by are the psychological threats of today. We need to be together physically and we need to be together emotionally. The perceived threat of isolation is as powerful as the real threat. That is why the body language of communication is so important. A high percentage of what we communicate is non-verbal. What we can see in another person visually completes the content. What we communicate through words is mostly data. But, have you ever sent an email where the emotional content was completely overlooked, misconstrued or ignored? What we communicate non-verbally is trust, rejection, appreciation, agreement, disagreement, encouragement.”

“But in any teleconference, we can see the other person’s face, we can hear their tone of voice,” I observed. “It is truly almost like being there.”

“Almost, we assume,” Pablo replied. “Why is it, that even remote workers, when it comes to performance feedback, formal or informal, want the context of the feedback in person? What is it about the physical presence of two people, in proximity? We have meetings over teleconference, but have you ever asked someone to have lunch over teleconference. It works well for data, not so much for breaking bread. The emotional connection we all seek, in which we work the best, where we are most productive is often lost in a digital platform.”

Communication Problem Only a Symptom

From the Ask Tom mailbag –

Question:
Hi Tom. In the seminar I attended, you said something about communication not being an issue in an organization, and I was surprised at that, as I believe communication is often a problem in organizations. Maybe I misunderstood. Will you please elaborate?

Response:
Communication breakdowns are often a symptom of a deeper darker problem.  Companies believe they have communication issues, so they conduct a communication seminar that RARELY solves the problem.  Whenever a client reports a communication problem, I start with accountability and authority.  The identified communication problem is a symptom of an accountability and authority problem.  Communication breakdowns can help us locate the problem, but not to resolve it.

Most communication problems are between two people who have to work together, but are not each other’s manager.  This is the dotted line phenomenon on most org charts.  The problem with the dotted line is the undefined accountability and undefined authority.  As managers, we hope the two will be able to figure it out, which is where the communication breakdown begins.  Technically, these are cross-functional role relationships (two people who have to work together, but are not each other’s manager).  When we define the role relationship, we have to define the accountability and the authority in that relationship.

Example –
Would it be a good idea for sales to coordinate with marketing and marketing to coordinate with sales? Yes.
 
But, is the Marketing Manager the manager of the Sales Manager, and is the Sales Manager the manager of the Marketing Manager?  No.  

But, do we require they work together in a coordinating relationship?  Yes.  That sounds great until one begins to complain about the other, and so, we think we have a communication breakdown (or worse, a personality conflict).  What we failed to define in that working relationship is the accountability and the authority.

In a coordinating relationship between the Sales Manager and the Marketing Manager, who each are accountable for their respective budgets, can we require they consult with each other and coordinate their budgets to leverage that working relationship?  Yes.  Why?  

Because we said so, by virtue of a coordinating cross-functional role relationship.  They are required (accountability) to schedule meetings with each other to consult, share information, resources and tactics.  Each has the authority over their respective budgets, but they are required to coordinate.  When we make the accountability and the authority clear, the communication breakdowns disappear almost overnight.

Touch Points

If it doesn’t show on the screen, it doesn’t exist.

I spent many years in television production. Many decisions were made related to project costs and value add. Our mantra was, “if it doesn’t show on the screen, it doesn’t exist.”

Your company has the same dilemma. Where do we place our precious resources related to the customer experience?

Step one is to map out all of your customer touchpoints, that’s your exposure. Those touch points are where you can break a customer relationship or cement it.

  • That first incoming telephone call to your call center.
  • A casual inquiry or clarifying customer question.
  • The exterior of a service truck.
  • An outbound email as part of a customer campaign.
  • How a customer opens the box containing your product.
  • What happens when (if) your product breaks.
  • A hundred more.

If an element of your product or service offering is critical but invisible, how do you get credit for it as your competitive advantage?

Communication Protocol

The paceline moved north, into a headwind, pulling 19 mph. “Walker up!” The shout came from the lead cyclist on the nose. He pulled his right hand off the handlebars, arm straight out, pointed to the pedestrian in the bike lane. One second later, he pats his butt and moves left into the active traffic lane. Though the rest of the paceline may not be able to see the walker, each cyclist knew about the hazard and knew to follow the lead bike to avoid it.

Intentional, agreed-upon communication. It was simple, efficient and effective. As the paceline continued north, there were other hazards to avoid, potholes, a tree branch in the road, narrowing traffic lanes, overtaking cars. Through a series of hand signals and audible shouts, the group made its way safely through urban traffic.

How does your team communicate in its daily routines? Do they have simple, efficient protocols to warn of impending hazards, delays, material shortages? Do they have agreed-upon signals to provide each other with feedback?

Chances are good that prior to a delay, prior to a material shortage, prior to a change in schedule, somebody knew. Someone could have warned the group and the group could have acted according to an agreed-upon protocol.

Get your team together and play the “what if” game. What problems occur and how they are best solved. Then create the “signal.”

“Walker up!”

Not Enough to Listen Attentively

Isn’t it funny, in school, when we think of the three “R’s,” only one starts with an “R.” (Reading, writing, arithmetic) Isn’t it funny, when we think about Communication in the organization, it’s always about talking, presenting and writing.

  • “How many of you, at some point in school, learned how to write?” All hands go up.
  • “And how many of you, at some point in school, learned how to read?” All hands go up.
  • “And how many of you, at some point, took a class in debate or public speaking?” Many hands go up.
  • “And how many of you have take some formal class of instruction in listening skills?” Few hands go up.

Let’s examine different levels of listening.

  • Level I – Ignoring (my wife says, I must be good at this, as much as I practice)
  • Level II – Pretending to listen (my wife says my skill definitely exceeds the ignoring level)
  • Level III – Selective listening (I always hear the part about the score of the football game, yet miss the part about taking out the garbage)
  • Level IV – Attentive listening (finally, some serious listening happening here)

It is only with Level IV that we are able to make headway to improve the quality of communication. Yet, most of our attentive listening consists of eye contact, some positive body language and focus on the other person’s lips, waiting… waiting… waiting… for them to finally take a breath, so we can break in and… respond. Most attentive listening is listening to respond.

To improve the quality of communication, attentive listening must move to a deeper level, listening for understanding. It is only at this level that we begin to truly understand the other person. Listen for understanding.

Yet, take it one level deeper and you will see exponential benefits from your conversations. Listen for discovery. Discovery is that intersection of the other person’s direction and your direction. That point of intersection is communication magic. It’s like that common ground you find when you discover that both parties grew up in Texas. The conversation changes, a new level of trust occurs. The real discovery, however, the true payoff, is the discovery of intersection in the future. In what direction is the other person headed? What direction are you headed? Where, in the field, will you meet up? Listen for discovery.

Not a Communication Problem

“I am a bit confused,” Sarah explained. “As an executive management team, CEO included, we were frustrated about some issues that were not going well.”

“And, what did you do?” I asked.

“We thought it best to take a survey, kind of a company climate survey, to let everyone chip in and express their opinion about things gone wrong and how to fix them,” she said.

“And, what did you find out?”

“Just as we expected, a large number, more than 50 percent described our problems, related to productivity and morale, as a communication issue.”

“And, how did you go about addressing the issue?” I pressed.

“We hired a communication consultant, and held a series of communication seminars, so everyone could attend,” Sarah stated flatly.

“And, the results?”

“It’s been two weeks. At first, everyone was fired up. People were being nice to each other, but, here we are two weeks later and nothing has really changed. Productivity statistics are unchanged and we still experience heated exchanges about who is to blame.”

“Do you think communication is really the underlying problem?” I wanted to know.

“When you use the word – underlying, it leads me to believe I am looking in all the wrong places,” Sarah sighed. “So, is communication the problem, or only a symptom of the problem?”

“Let’s assume, for a moment, that communication was accurately identified by your survey as a symptom of the problem,” I floated. “What might be the underlying cause of the problem?”

Sarah had to stop, a bit of silence. She finally spoke, “Some people in the survey said they were unnecessarily blamed for things going wrong, that it really wasn’t their fault. Others said that if productivity was really wanted, that the incentive program should be changed. Some said they knew how to fix some of our problems, but they didn’t have the authority to make the decision, they were overruled by their manager.”

“I think we are moving away from the symptom, and getting closer to the cause,” I observed. “Most people, when they call me, tell of a communication problem. After some time, I can usually convince them that communication is not their problem. It’s usually an accountability and authority issue.”