Category Archives: Coaching Skills

Persuasion

“So, I should focus on execution?” Roberta asked.

“It takes both. Flawless execution of a bad idea is still a bad idea,” I replied. “But even if you have a good idea, unless the team believes in your idea, you will not get flawless execution.”

“So, it’s persuasion?” she wanted to know.

“The best persuaders are not those with the most powerful ideas,” I nodded. “The best persuaders are those who listen. Listening reveals the path to persuasion. The best salesperson I ever knew was fond of saying – if you will just listen to the customer for three minutes, they will tell what and how they want to buy.”

Bright Ideas, Insufficient

“I thought my promotion to manager was to become better at directing people to get work done,” Roberta said. “You make it seem like there should be more focus on the team than on me. I thought I had to have the answers, the solutions?”

“You might have answers and your answers may be the most coherent. You might have solutions and your solutions may be the ones that save the day,” I replied. “But, it is not your answers, your solutions, your planning, your bright ideas that make the difference. It’s execution. I am also certain that you have high performance standards, and you would meet those performance standards if you could self-perform each step in the process. Yet, you have come to realize that successful initiatives are seldom accomplished by a single person, it takes a team. It’s not the idea harbored by a single individual, it’s the coordinated execution that transforms a dispirited group into a cohesive team.”

Fight for Respect

“Being promoted to manager is not all it was cracked up to be,” Muriel moaned.

“How so?” I asked.

“When I was part of the team, we were all collaborators, working together, solving problems, in general, we had a really good time at work. Now that I am the manager of the team, they don’t seem to respect me or my position.”

“Tell me more,” I prompted.

“I tell them how to solve a problem, and they go about trying to solve it in a different way. When I catch them not following my solution, they push back. They seem to question everything I say. It’s like I am in a big fight for respect.”

I smiled. “If you feel like you have to fight for respect, you are more likely to get a fight than respect.”

A Zone of Judgement

“I tried it,” Bowen shook his head. “I got stuffed. The team resisted. They told me everything was fine, that I was worried about nothing. They said, if my manager wasn’t happy with the team’s output, that was their problem. If my manager didn’t like it, he could just fire the whole team. They thought that was funny, knowing we would never just fire the whole team.”

“Okay,” I nodded. “So, what does that tell you about comfort zones?”

Bowen thought. “Comfort zones infect the way we think. It’s like a habit, so grooved that anything out of the zone must be wrong. The comfort zone looks like a position of judgement, self protecting the way we have always done things.”

“So, while habits help us routinize a process,” I said, “that habit lulls us into a sense of comfort that prevents us from seeing obstacles on the periphery. We ignore those obstacles until they become front and center. So comfortable is our zone, we may continue to deny the obstacle, call it unimportant, maybe not fair.”

Bowen looked straight at me. “I run a fine line. I want to create habits to ensure a consistency of output, that we are doing things the best way, efficiently. But, we also have to watch out that our comfort zone doesn’t cause us to deny new problems or circumstances that require a new response outside of our habit.”

I smiled. “And, how do you imagine getting your team to that point?”

Can You See What I See?

Wesley was happy. “I stayed up most of the night last night, couldn’t sleep. I finally figured out a new process for the way we inspect parts coming off the line. It should speed things up and detect almost all the product defects.”

“Congratulations,” I smiled. “How is the team responding to the new process?”

“Oh, they don’t know about it yet,” Wesley replied. “I have a meeting with them in about ten minutes. I am sure they are going to be enthusiastic about the changes.”

“Quite certain, are you?” I continued to smile.

“I can tell by your question that you think I am overoptimistic about the team’s reaction.”

I chuckled. “Yes. You have a new story to tell the team that is different from the old story the team has been living with. You can see things about this new process that your team may struggle with. And, their old story will support their struggle. Do not underestimate the power of the story people tell themselves. Your new story has to pull the team all the way through the struggle so they begin to see what you see.”

Inner Dragon

“It’s impossible,” Cheri shook her head. “I don’t see how it can be done?”

“Lots of impossible things have been done in the past. We even went to the moon,” I suggested.

“Yes, but this project has all kinds of traps built inside. I can feel it,” she said.

“Are those traps real, or imagined?” I asked. “I mean, there are real hazards. We don’t have to jump off a cliff to understand that we cannot fly. But many trepidations are only in our imaginations. We see them as fire-breathing dragons.”

“And, now you are going to tell me that dragons don’t exist?” Cheri was skeptical.

“Oh, no. They exist alright and are very real to you. An inner dragon is the most fierce. And, the one dragon you must slay before you can move forward.”

Broccoli and Power

“So how do I get my team to the point where they believe in what is necessary? How do I make them believe?” Erica was stumped.

“Indeed,” I said. “If your team doesn’t believe it is necessary, you cannot make them believe. Sure, you can trick them with a bonus or maybe a plaque, but it is still a trick.”

“Like your broccoli story,” Erica remembered, “I have the authority as a parent to command broccoli, but my child has the power to determine if broccoli will be eaten?”

“Yes,” I nodded. “If you feel the need to compel behavior, does that say anything about the power others have over you?”

People Problems

“People problems,” Sebastian shook his head. “It’s always people problems.”

I smiled. “Yes, you can think people create all your problems, AND they are also the only ones who can create your solutions.”

“So, I can have it both ways?” he chuckled.

I continued to smile. “The way you see your people will determine the problems that land in your lap, and whether those problems arrive with solutions attached. If people are only the source of your frustration, you will find only more problems. If people are also the source of your solutions, you will find inspiration and joy. You get to decide how you see your team.”

Who You Hang With

“You have collected the data, what you know, from people around you?” I asked a rhetorical question.

Sebastian pursed his lips, “That’s where I get my data from,” he replied.

“So, what you know, is what people have told you?” Same question, different words. “And, not just the data you collect from your team, but what people tell you about other things. What you want, your strategy, guidance and ideas. As you look at the people around you, it makes a lot of difference who they are. You cannot pick your parents, often cannot pick your school teacher, but as we go through life, we do select the people around us and who we depend upon to share their view of the world. It’s the reverse of the old adage – if you lay down with dogs, you’re going to get up with fleas. Take care who you hang out with. Do these people have your best interests at heart? Do they want to help you get where you want to go? Do they even know, or care to find out where you want to go?”

Certainty or Readiness

“But, I want my plan to be realistic,” Tyler protested. “I want to think about the most likely scenario, and set in place the steps to meet our objectives.”

“Yes, but the most likely scenario rarely happens,” I replied. “Planning is all about readiness. Your realistic plan may be wrong, and the steps you set in place may lead you down a path of futility.”

“But I still have to have a plan, don’t I?”

“Yes, a plan that considers a number of scenarios, with contingencies and alternate paths to the goal. A plan is less about certainty and more about readiness.”