Face of the Boss

“So, when things get tough, in your new role as a manager, the face of your old boss appears.” I repeated, confirming what Nathan had described. Nathan nodded, so I continued.

“Management skills are often passed down that way, for better or worse. Experience teaches, our parents teach, old bosses teach. It’s just that sometimes the lessons learned are not the right lessons. A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance and to turn around three times before lying down. (Credit to humorist Robert Benchley).

“So, what are the right lessons?” Nathan inquired.

“Well, we have the example of your worst boss. So, who was your best boss?”

Nathan had to think for quite a bit. I could see he was struggling. “Yes, I remember. I don’t know why I didn’t think of him. Mr. Johnston, that was his name.”

“And what were the qualities that made him such a good boss?”

“It’s funny, he never yelled, he never got upset, he was always calm. If I made a mistake, he helped me correct it. When I was about to do something stupid, he would stop me and make me think it over.”

“So, here is where we start,” I said. “We start by replacing your worst boss with Mr. Johnston. When you are faced with a management issue, and you begin to hear your worst boss in your mind, I want you to turn your head and think about Mr. Johnston watching you.”

Nathan smiled and nodded. “You mean, I need to kind of fake myself out.”

“Not at all. You already fake yourself out when you listen to your worst boss. I want you to listen to Mr. Johnston.”

Who Sits on Your Shoulder?

My mood was upbeat, but this conversation with Nathan was not lifting his spirits. His team was not on a mutiny, but they weren’t paying much attention to him.

“So, you have had a bit of difficulty getting out of the gate with your team. As you think about yourself, as a manager, who comes to mind, from your past? Who is that person sitting on your shoulder, whispering in your ear, giving you advice?”

Nathan looked stunned. “That’s weird,” he said. “As I go through my day, I have this silent conversation in my head with an old boss of mine. Whenever I have a decision to make, he pops into my head. It’s like he is watching me and I still have to do it his way. That was years ago, but he still influences me.”

“Was he a good boss?” I asked.

“No, everybody hated him. That is why it’s so weird. I think he was the worst boss I ever had and I am acting just like he did.”

“So, why do you think he has such an influence on you, today?”

“I don’t know,” Nathan said slowly.

“Would you like to be a different manager than your old boss?”

Finally, Nathan smiled. “Yes, absolutely,” he replied.

“Well, that is where we start.”

Sidelined by the Team

Nathan, a new manager, had been sidelined by his team. “What happened?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I was giving orders for the day and a couple of the guys wandered off and before you know it, I was in the room by myself.”

“What do you think happened?” I continued.

“Well, Troy had been on my case since I was first made manager. Seems he thought he was in line for the job. But the company picked me.”

“So, now, what do you think your challenge is?”

Nathan was quiet, then finally spoke, “Somehow, I have to get them to trust me.”

“Nathan, it’s a long road, to get your team to trust you, even if they have known you for a long time. Where do you think you will start?”

Nathan was still quiet. I poked my head out the door. His team hadn’t abandoned him. They were all at their workstations, doing their work, but it didn’t seem like Nathan was having his way.

“Nathan, I think your team will work okay for the rest of the day. The schedules that were posted yesterday haven’t changed that much. Let’s take a hike down to the coffee shop and talk about a new strategy. It’s tough being the new boss.”

Showing Up on Time?

“What did you learn?” I asked. Martin had finished a couple of days speaking with his team about their individual values.

“I gotta tell you,” Martin started, “I have never had this kind of conversation with my team before. I rounded them up the next morning and before we started the shift, I just floated a couple of questions.

  • When we work well together, what is it that we do to make that happen?
  • What could we do more of, to be more effective as a team?

“All of the things they talked about were heavy with value words. Not only do I have more insight into what makes my team tick, they have a better insight. They have never talked about this stuff before.”

“And, how is this going to help you, as a manager?” I asked.

“Easy,” Martin replied. “Something as simple as everyone showing up on time. No one really understood how important it was to show up at 8:00am. Up until now.”

Values in Other People

“So, let’s get back to the conversation part,” Martin insisted. “How do you get people to talk about values in a way that is helpful?”

“It is really very easy,” I said. “You simply ask them.

“I know you have tried this before and you got the lizard eye stare, but try the question differently, not about them, but about the environment around them. Often people cannot talk about themselves, but they easily see things around them. Here is how the question goes.

  • What do you value in a team member?

“When they respond to that question, they are really talking about themselves. Here are some more.”

  • What are the positive things your team members do to make this a better place to work?
  • Think about your best manager. What are the characteristics about that person that set him apart from other managers?
  • When you have a really tough problem to solve, what are the things that are really helpful to the process?

Martin was getting the picture. He excused himself from the room. He had some questions to ask his team members.

A Rose by Any Other Color

Martin was waiting in the conference room when I arrived. He had a single sheet of paper in front of him.

“That was easier than I thought,” he started. “I simply observed the way my team members dress, and it was curious how quickly I noticed the difference between my top performers and the rest of my team.”

“Observing physical characteristics can give you important clues about a person’s value system. People communicate a great deal about themselves without speaking a single word.” Now it was Martin’s turn to nod his head.

“Does this have anything to do with habits?” he asked.

“What are you thinking?” I replied. I could see the wheels turning.

“Well, the fact that my top performers dress differently, I mean neater, cleaner, more polished, is not because they consciously thought about it. It seems that is just who they are. And it comes out in their work product. A person who takes pride in their personal appearance, also takes pride in their work product.”

“Why do you think that happens?”

Martin paused. “I am beginning to see a clearer connection between values and behavior. Even if people don’t think about it, consciously, that’s why they do what they do.”

“So, how important is it, for a manager, to understand the value system of team members?”

A Book by Any Other Cover

“So, how do you find out what they want?” asked Martin. “You know, sometimes I talk to them about stuff like this. Sometimes, I ask them what their goals are. And sometimes, they don’t have a clue.

“I know it’s important to get some alignment between what I want (or what the company wants) and what they want. But sometimes, I don’t think they know.”

“You are right,” I agreed. “Often, people don’t know what they want. Think about this, though. People want what they value.

“How important is it for you, as a manager, to find out what your individual team members value?

Martin pondered a moment. “I am with you. It is important,” he replied. “But how do you find out about a person’s values when sometimes they don’t even know themselves?”

“Let’s start with the easy stuff,” I suggested. “What clues can you tell about a person simply from their appearance?”

“You mean, in terms of values?” Martin asked. He paused. “Well, you can tell some things about a person by the way they dress. Attention to detail, neatness, or sloppiness.”

“I have an exercise for you, Martin. Remember, a person’s dress is only a clue, not absolute certainty. Nonetheless, I want you to make a list of your top three team members, and simply by the way they dress, write down some words that describe their positive attributes. I will meet you here tomorrow to talk about some other ways to determine values in other people.”

How To Find Out

Martin held his head in his hand. He squinted and looked at the ceiling. “Do you mean that all my attempts at motivation have been like hitting my head against a brick wall?” he asked.

I raised my eyebrows and shook my head affirmative. “People will only comply with what you want to do. They will commit to what they want to do. All you have to do is figure out the alignment between what you want and what they want.”

“So, I know what I want. How do I find out what they want?”

“Most times,” I replied, “all you have to do is ask. I know it sounds simple, but most managers never ask.”

It’s Not What You Want That Matters

“You cannot motivate anyone to do anything,” I observed. Martin was stumped.

“But I thought that was part of my job,” he protested.

“You can think that all you want, but it is not possible,” I continued. I could see in Martin’s eyes that he was conflicted between what he thought and his real experience trying to motivate his team members.

“Well, you may be right,” he finally replied. “Sometimes it seems easy to get people to do what I want, but other times, it seems impossible.”

“When it seems easy, what do you think is going on?” I asked.

“When it seems easy, it’s like they already wanted to do it in the first place.” Martin paused. “It seems impossible when they didn’t ever want to do it.”

“So, it doesn’t seem to matter what you want, as the manager, or how badly you want it. The only thing that seems to matter is whether your team members want to do it?”

The lights were circling in Martin’s head. The whole time, as a manager, he looked at motivation as getting people to do something he wanted. His mind was beginning to change.

The Necessity of Management

“Everything seems to change, every day,” Charlotte whispered. She felt the change, but had never said the words.

“Think about this,” I suggested, “if nothing changed in your company, what would your team members do every day?”

The anticipated blank stare pierced the silence.

“That’s right!” I exclaimed. “If nothing changed, they would never do anything different. They would continue to do the same thing they did the day before. And life would be good.

“But things do change, and that is why you have a job as a manager. Think of change as your job security. As long as there is change, you will have a job to do.

“As your customers change, as specifications change, as technologies change, as we find better ways to do things, your job, your role as a manager is to modify your systems and processes to accommodate those changes.

“The more things change, the more your company needs competent managers. Lecture over, last one through the door, turn out the lights.”