“Sometimes you have to slow down to go fast,” I repeated. “How do you find calm?”
“That’s a very strange question,” Dalton replied. “Every part of my body wants to move fast. My manager wants this fixed, now.”
“Let’s temporarily set your manager aside,” I said. “What, inside of you, makes you want to fix this now?”
Dalton struggled with the question. He finally breathed. “If I don’t fix this, now, I will have failed. I was just promoted to manager two months ago, I was proud. Now I am failing. Maybe I was promoted by mistake. Maybe I don’t have what it takes to be a manager.”
“Which part of you is thinking that?” I asked. “What part of you is telling you that?”
Dalton’s eyes darted the room, looking for an answer. His vision finally settled in his lap. “It’s just a feeling, a tightness in my chest,” he finally said. “I feel it now. It feels bad, and as long as I feel this way, I don’t know what move to make.”
“Who else do you think you might disappoint?”
“I think about my father. He passed away seven years ago, but he is still on my mind.”
“And, what would your father say to you right now?”
“He wouldn’t judge me. He would probably tell me that he had confidence in me.”
“Can you give yourself permission to say the same thing?” I asked.
Dalton thought, and nodded. “Yes.”
“Then, we can move to the next step,” I said.
“There is a next step?”