“But, Sue, Tony and Ricardo were just bystanders in the exchange between Fred and Jim,” Ron was puzzled. “Shouldn’t I keep them as bystanders and just deal with the two primary actors?”
“Sue, Tony and Ricardo are as involved in the fracas as Fred and Jim. They may not have actively participated on the front end of the exchange, but they were certainly impacted on the back end. Fred and Jim need to hear about that. So, yes, everyone gets a turn in the discussion, but, only speaking for themselves. And you, you are not exempt, just because you are the leader. How did you feel when the back and forth between Fred and Jim got heated?”
“I felt threatened, my stomach got a little knot in it,” Ron replied. “I wanted it to be over, I wanted it to stop.”
“And, what else?” I asked.
“I felt like the team was going to explode, or fall apart.”
“And, what else?”
“I felt if Fred and Jim continued their animosity, it might turn violent and they would never be able to work together again.”
“Good,” I said. “I assume you will hear similar things as you go around the table.”
“And, that’s it?” Ron stopped.
“No, now it is time to get curious. What was it that contributed to the heat? Now is the time for questions.”