Tag Archives: non-verbal communication

Meaning to the Words

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“It’s good to have everyone back in the office,” Conrad explained. “It seems convenient to have people video conference, but it just wasn’t the same.”

“If you look at your team as a system, realizing that everything, every person is connected to each other as a system,” I said, “what qualitative difference does it make in your communication system?”

“For sure,” Conrad nodded. “Sending an email is a one-way communication. Even texting loses a non-verbal component.”

“And what about a video conference where the camera is off?” I asked.

“Most definitely. Without the visual, the connection is lost. No confirmation the person is paying attention, has a question, in agreement or out of agreement. Sometimes spoken words don’t convey the whole message.”

“And, is there a difference between video communication and face-to-face communication, in real proximity?” I asked.

Conrad nodded. “Yes. I communicate something very powerful simply by the physical distance between us. Talking in a meeting ten feet away is very different than talking to someone two feet away. Even that physical distance gives meaning to the words we say.”

What Gets Missed on Zoom

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Zoom supplanted much personal interaction during this pandemic. But, here is what we miss.

Only a small part of verbal communication is in the words we speak. Much of our message (indeed, micro-messages) that we communicate are non-verbal. In person, we get the whole picture and quickly divert our attention to details that we perceive as important.

On Zoom, we get a limited picture, hand gestures out of frame, posture obscured by what we cannot see. Facial expressions get lost in a focal length that never changes. Looking someone directly in the eye means to stare intently into the lens of a webcam with the subject only in our peripheral vision.

The best leaders are those with emotional intelligence. The (emotional) data we pick up is mostly non-verbal. On Zoom, emotional data requires we pay close attention, not just to the spoken words, not just with what the screen shows, but those subtle cues. And sometimes, when the data isn’t clear, we have to verify, ask questions and clarify.

  • It seems to me that you are struggling with this decision, is that accurate?
  • You appear hesitant, can you repeat that thought?
  • I see the commitment in your face, am I seeing this correctly?
  • I didn’t catch what you said, I was focused on your determined expression. I want to make sure I understand your intention.