Though his head felt it, the room was not spinning. The muffled conversation was screaming. Lenny was sure he was about to pass out. In the six months since he was promoted, things had become increasingly chaotic.

“When the path is clear, anyone can be the leader,” I told him. “In the middle of ambiguity, leadership is visible. The person who paints the clearest picture of reality will emerge as the leader.”

What is this “reality” stuff, and why is it so important?

Because reality always wins. You can identify it and deal with it, or ignore it and allow it to eat your lunch.

What is reality in your company? It’s the obstacle in the way of your goal. It’s the head trash that distracts you from effective action, that diverts you from your purpose.

Purpose is the starting place for the reality conversation. Purpose helps to make sense of the chaos, allows us to see clearer patterns in the swirl. Purpose creates context for the noise. If you are a Manager and the world is churning, sit down with your team and have a talk about purpose.

I was saddened late last night, as I stepped off a plane from New York, to learn that Steve Jobs had passed away. As a student of business, I always regarded him as one of the great teachers.

Perhaps today, I will find a shirt with no buttons and wear it in his honor.

From the Ask Tom mailbag. This comes from Thomas Hochgeschurtz at 2eck.com, in response to The Consultants Kept Their Fee.

Question:
Telling the truth is painful, therefore you had a painful day, writing this post. However, I missed the one step further. “What you believe determines your behavior” brings up the question, how to change the “beliefs” of our employees. And this is “trust”. We can make the craziest decisions, if your people trust us, they go with us. Otherwise, if the people don’t trust us, even the best decision is not accepted. Tom, give us your opinion how to built trust in today’s working environment.

Response:
Say what you mean and do what you say. Are there any questions?

Trust is central to managerial effectiveness. Here is a great question to ask in any situation. “In the decision I am about to make, will it create trust or destroy trust?” There is no neutral. You are either building or destroying trust.

Creating trust is a battle for the thoughts of team members. A manager is either winning or losing that battle. And it is not just decisions, or actions. Organizations have entire systems that create and destroy trust. It’s a thousand things.

And when it is a thousand things, we cannot write them all down in the Standard Operating Procedures Manual. Our only hope is a small word, culture. Culture is that unwritten set of rules, beliefs that govern our behavior. It is organic, non-linear and by hook or by crook, it exists. A manager can intentionally influence it or allow it to go its merry way, at great peril.

I got started on this track last week after spending three days with Don Schmincke, High Altitude Leadership. He traveled up and down some treacherous climbs, studying leadership in “death zones.” Chris Warner, his mountaineering guide describes conditions on K2, where the death to summit ratio is 1 in 5. Chris is careful to point out, on the ascent, the bodies that must be stepped over, all facing downhill, with a summit picture in their pocket.

While climbers certainly perish on the way up. It is the unexpected trek down that snares those not paying attention. You see, the goal is gone. That, which bound the climbers together, that welded their trust toward the summit, has disappeared. Each climber separates and selfishness resumes its character. The path is dangerous in either direction, but trust fades and punishment is swift, sometimes fatal.

So, what is the lesson, for us, as leaders? You must snare the imagination of the team, and earn their trust through a goal, a vision, a story for which they have passion.

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“What kind of questions?” asked Ted.

“Look, in your position, as Manager, you often don’t have the technical details necessary to make a decision. As a Manager, that’s not your job. Your job is to bring value to the problem solving and decision making of your team.” I waited for Ted to catch up.

“By asking questions?”

“Most Managers think their team will see them as weak if they have difficulty making a decision, even if the Manager doesn’t have the technical details. So, sometimes, Managers make a decision because they think it’s their job.

“If you have two engineers, each with a different method of solving a problem, you may not know which method is technically the best way.”

“So, how do you make the decision?”

“You don’t bring value by making a decision and telling them what to do. You bring value by asking questions.

• What were the top three criteria on which you based your recommendation?
• What impact will your recommendation have on the time frame of the project?
• What two things could go wrong with your recommendation?

“Your job, as Manager, is not telling people what to do. Your job is to bring value to their problem solving and decision making.”

“Yes, but shouldn’t these people be reporting to me?” asked Ted.

“That depends. Functionally, their roles produce results you are interested in, but are you prepared to be their Manager?” I replied.

“I think so. I think they can report to me. I think I can hold them accountable for producing those results. I think I can check up on them to make sure they are working,” Ted proposed.

“That’s only the surface part of being a Manager.” I stopped to draw a picture. “Here you are, and these people, you believe, should report to you. But are you prepared to be their Manager?

“Your most important role, in the Manager relationship with your team, is for you to bring value to their problem solving and decision making.” Ted stared at the simple picture of circles and lines. “Are you bringing value by telling them that their reports are due on Friday and then reminding them Monday morning that their reports are late?”

Ted was still staring, but putting the pieces together. “Well, no, not when you put it that way.”

“Then, how, as their Manager, do you bring that value? And are you committed to bring that value? Are you willing to commit the time to bring that value?

“The answers to these questions will determine whether you should be the manager of this team.”