Category Archives: Communication Skills

Silly Policy?

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From the Ask Tom mailbag:

Question:

I work for an insurance company as an IT administrator. I have difficulty getting anything done because the people lack interest. They do not realize how much the business hinges on IT. I have tried introducing standard policies like email, AUP, DRP, a disaster recovery plan, but they just have no interest despite the importance. These are business critical policies that need to be in place in any organization. I have tried all I can and put simply, I am annoyed and tired. What should I do? How can I make them see the importance of IT? How can I make them cooperate? Please advise.

Response:

This is a conundrum about any kind of policy or procedure, whether it is administrative, a manufacturing process or a safety procedure. Some people in the organization just don’t seem to care about your silly policy, when there are a ton of reasons why. I am going to give my readers a chance to respond before I jump on the bandwagon. -TF

A Scary Conversation

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Registration for our next sales program (www.workingsales.com) ends on Monday September 25. Registration for our next management program (www.workingmanagement.com) ends this Friday, September 22, 2006.
—
I could see by the look on her face that she was very uncomfortable with the discussion. As she raised her hand to speak, it was a cross between timid and bold opinion.

“I’m not sure about this exercise,” explained Anita. “It goes against everything we have learned in HR. I’m not sure you are supposed to know all this personal stuff about people.”

The exercise in the class was to conduct a one to one conversation with another person. It’s called Mineral Rights, adapted from Susan Scott’s Fierce Conversations. The point of the exercise is to have a conversation with another person at a deeper level than sports and weather.

“Anita, tell me,” I asked, “where do most team members fail us on the job? Is it their lack of technical skill, or is it connected to attitude, willingness or some personal issue that influences their job performance?”

Anita stopped. She knew the answer, but it was dead set against her HR training. Bottom line, it was a scary conversation. I continued.

“Anita, what is the most important thing for one of your supervisors to know about his team?” She was desperately trying to make this answer come from the textbook, but it was failing her. I was feeling impatient, so I kept rolling.

“Anita, on some of our crews, the most important thing for a supervisor to know, is who is going to show up for work today. Who is going to show up? Who is going to show up hung over? Who is fighting with his girlfriend? Who is having car trouble?

“On the flip side, it is important for the manager to know what makes his technician run up a ladder in 110 degree heat, on top of a roof, change out a compressor and then go downstairs and apologize to the store owner for taking so long.

“This has nothing to do with the technical side of air conditioning repair. And the manager is not going to find this out by reading a job resume. This stuff only comes out by talking, individually, on a personal level, about what really matters.”

I don’t think Anita ever got comfortable with the exercise that day, but she left the classroom a different person. -TF

Management Is A Social Act

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“Management is a social act.” –Lisa Haneberg, Management Craft.

—-

When I arrived, she was in her office with a clear desk. Ellen was curious. She had a new department and had real concerns about a smooth transition. She started the conversation before I settled into a chair. “You promised a powerful tool, today.”

I nodded, “Yes, I did. Today we are going to talk about conversation.”

“Conversation?” Ellen looked puzzled.

“Most everything a manager accomplishes is done through conversation. Think about it Ellen. When you set goals with your team, you engage in conversation. When you troubleshoot a problem on the line, you engage in conversation. When you hold a team member accountable for performance, you engage in conversation. The ability of a manager to engage in meaningful, genuine conversation translates into effectiveness.”

“Well, I know how to talk to people,” Ellen retorted.

“Talking to people and engaging people are different levels of conversation. We spoke the other day about showing genuine interest in each of your team members. It is the beginning of all the other conversations you will have with each person as their manager.

“By the way, it is a skill that can be learned.” -TF

—
Registration is filling for both our programs in Fort Lauderdale. The Management program (www.workingmanagement.com) kicks off on September 25, the Sales program (www.workingsales.com) kicks off September 27.

Getting Engaged in Work

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“I am good at planning. I am good at delegating. I am good at making decisions, but I am not good at this warm and fuzzy stuff,” explained Ellen. We had been talking about her new department. The grapevine said some people were nervous and some might quit if they didn’t like her.

“Look, the point of management is not to win a personality contest, but if you want to get people engaged in their work, you have to get engaged with them.” I stopped to see if Ellen had a pulse. I could see by her body language that this was uncomfortable.

“But, I always thought it best not to get too close to my people. It just seems easier to be objective if I don’t really know too much about them, especially their personal lives,” Ellen continued.

“It seems easier to be objective? Or it just seems easier to be insensitive?” I asked. “The point is not be a huggy bear. The point is to gain willing cooperation from your team members, both together and as individuals.

“Does your company have a mission statement?” Ellen nodded.

“And does your department have its own mission statement?”

“Yes,” Ellen replied.

“Do things work better if the team mission statement supports the company mission statement?”

“Well, of course.”

“Ellen, believe it or not, your team members have their own personal mission statements. For most it is just rattling around in their head. Would things work better if their personal mission statement supports the team mission statement?”

“Well, I suppose, but how do I find that out?”

“That’s what engagement is all about. If you want your team to be engaged in their work, you have to be engaged with them. Meet me here tomorrow. We will talk about how to do that with the most powerful tool you have as a manager.” -TF

——-

Spaces are filling for our Management program (www.workingmanagement.com) which kicks off September 25. I would also like to announce our new Sales program (www.workingsales.com) which kicks off here in Fort Lauderdale on September 27. Find out more by visiting the links.

Genuine Interest

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“I am taking over a new department,” explained Ellen. “It’s not a promotion, just a new department. I heard through the grapevine that some people are off-balance wondering what life is going to be like under my direction. Two people said they might quit. How do I let them know that I am not going to be some micro-managing monster?”

“You could wear a sign,” I suggested.

Ellen laughed. “Be serious. I want to let them know that I am not some control freak boss.”

“It sounds backward,” I started, “but instead of telling them about you, why don’t you find out about them?”

Ellen looked puzzled.

“Look, you may be under the microscope. If you become genuinely interested in each of your team members, you will accomplish two things. First, the focus will immediately shift away from you. Second, asking questions about them will speak volumes about you.” -TF

The Position We Listen From

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My coffee was piping hot, hazelnut with a little cream. Cheryl’s meeting was to start in a few minutes. She was determined to turn things around with her team. She was hired as a troubleshooter in Quality Control, but finding the problem and fixing the problem are two different things.

“So today, you said you were going to listen?” I asked.

Cheryl nodded “Yes.”

“What position will you be listening from?”

The question caught Cheryl off-guard. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

“The way we see the world is often influenced by our position. In fact, you have listened to your team before, but you were listening from a position of judgment, so you didn’t hear what they had to say.” I stopped to let that sink in. “What position will you be listening from today?” I repeated.

“I guess I will be trying to understand their point of view.”

“Not bad, but not aggressive enough to be effective. What position do you want to be listening from?”

Cheryl was stumped. “Curiosity?” she finally blurted out.

I nodded. “So, when you sit in your meeting today, you will be listening from the position of a curious child?”

Cheryl smiled.

“And curious children always have a lot more fun than stuffy old Quality Control managers,” I said. “And curious children often invent interesting ways to solve problems.”

—

My thanks to Clyde Horner for reminding about the “position we listen from.” -TF

Inviting an Argument

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“I tell them what to do and all they do is argue,” complained Cheryl.

“How does that sound?” I asked. “Pretend I am running the line. What mistake could I make that needs correction?”

“They always forget to inspect incoming materials for quality. They just dump the parts in the bin. This company hired me to prevent quality errors. It starts by inspecting the incoming plastic parts,” Cheryl explained.

“So, I take a box of incoming plastic parts and I dump them into the bin for assembly, but I don’t check them for quality, first?”

“Exactly,” said Cheryl. “You can’t do that. I personally inspected all the incoming parts from yesterday and now you have them all mixed up. What were you thinking? You will have to pull all the parts out of the bin and re-inspect every one. We are having a 20 percent failure rate on finished goods and it’s all your fault.”

“What kind of response do you get?” I queried.

“Oh, they say they never had to inspect parts before I came along, or that they didn’t make the damn parts so it’s not their fault. I can’t seem to get them to take responsibility. They sound like little kids. –I didn’t do it, not my fault.-”

“So, if they sound like little kids, what do you sound like?”

“What do you mean?” Cheryl became quietly curious.

“If they sound like children, do you sound like a parent?”

Cheryl stopped cold. She was ticking the conversation back in her head. “My goodness, I sound like my mother.”

“And when you sound like a critical parent, what kind of response do you invite?” I asked.

“When I sound like a critical parent, I invite them to argue with me?” Cheryl’s question sounded more like an answer.

“So, we have to figure out a way to correct the behavior without inviting an argument.” -TF

Shut Up and Listen

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Karyn was in the conference room when I arrived. We only had ten minutes so, right to the point.

“What have you decided that you would say?” I asked. Last Saturday, there was a shouting match that ended poorly. Karyn did not want a repeat performance. At the same time, she wanted the team member to live up to her schedule and complete the work assigned. I had suggested that Karyn prepare a conversation that was both sensitive and straight.

“First, the conversation will be early in the shift. I will ask to see her in the conference room, because it is both private and neutral. I am going to start with a twenty second speech and then I plan to listen and ask questions.” Karyn stopped.

“So, what does it sound like?” I prompted.

“First I will apologize.

I am sorry the conversation got out of hand last Saturday. We are both adults and I know better. When I got angry, I should have just called a time-out so we could talk with clearer heads.

It’s obvious to me that something is going on outside of work that is very important to you. It is important enough for you to break the schedule even if your work is not completed. If we could talk about this priority, perhaps we could arrive at some solution. I might be able to help if you could talk me through it.

“Then, I plan to shut up and listen,” Karyn explained.

“So, after you listen, are you going to solve her problem?” I was curious.

“Absolutely not, if there is one thing I have learned, is that I can listen, but she will have to solve her own problem. In fact, she will have to do the hard work of thinking it through. All I can do is give her a platform to solve the problem rather than fight it.”

“Good. I will be most anxious to hear of your progress. Keep me updated.” -TF

Saving Face and Time-Out

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From the Ask Tom mailbag:

Thank you all for your helpful comments on the post from Monday. If you receive the email version of Management Skills Blog, you can follow this link to the website to read all of the posts.

From Monday’s post:

I’m new to the middle management game. I supervise on the weekend. I’ve got a great team with one exception. She leaves early, complains when she has to work late, and runs to upper management every time she feels slighted. I’ve listened when she cries. I’ve tried being the tough supervisor. Nothing seems to work. Today (Saturday) she left early without completing her regularly scheduled work. The conversation deteriorated into a shouting match and she left.

Response:

Shouting matches create a tough spot. Once the volume escalates, there is more at stake than the original problem. There are now face-saving issues on the table. How can you back down as the supervisor? How can she back down as the victim of her tyrant (weekend) supervisor?

There is no easy path back to high performance for either of you. Whenever conversations become angry, you can be guaranteed to solution is near. Immediately call a time-out.
Negotiators use it, heck even basketball coaches use it. Time-out disturbs the flow, so especially if that flow is headed downhill, interrupt it.

Janice, I’m sorry. This conversation is getting heated and if we continue on this track, I am afraid we might get derailed. I want to stop and take a break. When we come back, I know I will have calmed down and I will be able to listen better. I am going to go down the hall, buy a soda from the vending machine and I will meet you back here in five minutes.

Time-out can be very helpful for regrouping, re-thinking, calming nerves, gaining perspective.
Tomorrow, let’s look at two more areas surrounding this person. -TF

Who is Responsible for the Problem?

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One by one, each team member volunteered some specific action where they had contributed to an overall slowdown in throughput on the floor. Julia listened well. Ed wrote the ideas on the board.

The group had come full circle to Ralph, the remaining hold-out. “Well, I still don’t think I contributed to the problem. But if I did contribute, the only thing I can think of, is that, about a year and a half ago, I stopped filling out the weekly production schedule. Things had become so routine, I didn’t think we needed it. I am not sure that we need it now, but, anyway, that’s my idea.”

“Thank you, Ralph,” Julia said softly. “Ed, write that up on the board.” She looked around the room. They had added eleven more ideas to the original sixteen. But these were different.

“I want to thank you all for taking this first step. We have 27 things we need to look at, but more importantly, you, as a team, are now in position to make something happen. Until this morning, you all thought the problem was with a machine or a batch of bad materials. Only in the past few minutes, you each talked about how you, individually, were responsible for the way we work.

“It is only when you understand that you are responsible for the problem, that you can take responsibility to fixing the problem. I can’t fix it, only you can fix it. As a team, we are ready to take the next steps. Let’s take a break. See you back here in ten minutes.”