“Isn’t that kind of personal?”

“Well, yes.”

“Doesn’t it make people uncomfortable to talk about that?”

“Well, no.”

People like to talk about themselves. In fact, most people are actually waiting for someone to come along so they can talk about things close to the heart, what they believe in, things important. They have been waiting all their lives for someone like you to listen.

The impact you have, as a manager, directly relates to the trust in the working relationship. How do you create that trust? How do you, as a manager, create a foundation of trust that you can build on, over and over?

Our Next Subject Area Kicks Off April 12
Communication, the Mineral Rights Conversation, explores a step-by-step method to create that foundation. Most Mineral Rights Conversations last 15-30 minutes, but I have used this powerful formula to create that trust in as little as six minutes.

• What does your team member want out of the job?
• What influences your team member to make certain decisions?
• What type of work does your team member place a high value on?

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“I think I am pretty good at explaining our policies and procedures. I mean, we spent a lot of time developing our processes. We have tested things. We know the best way to get things done. So, why doesn’t my team listen to me?” complained Megan.

“What happens?” I ask.

“Okay, there are 13 steps in this process. And there are certain things that you have to look for, like you can mess up step number two and you won’t notice until step number six, so you have to take the whole thing apart back to step two.”

“Sounds complicated.”

Megan gave me the look. “That’s why I have to explain it. But they don’t seem to listen, then they start doing things their own way. About half the production has to be scrapped.”

“What do you think is happening?”

“They’re just not listening to me,” Megan stated flatly.

“I think you are right. They’re not listening to you. Sounds like they care more about what they think than what you think?” I watched Megan for her response. She didn’t like what I said, but I was just confirming what she had observed. They weren’t listening to her.

“How can you use that to your advantage?” I continued. Megan’s look at me was similar to the look she gave her team. “Megan, let’s try something different. I got this camera from some promo give-away. Here, take it. It’s only 6 megapixel and the chip will only take 25 pictures, but why don’t you give your team this camera and ask them to document this 13 step process and see what you get.”

“But they will get it all wrong,” she protested.

“Yes, but it’s a good place to start. Tell me how it goes.”

From the Ask Tom mailbag:

Question:

I use questions to coach my team members, and they provide answers but not always the right answer. As a result, the conversation can appear like an inquisition. It’s challenging, at that time, not to revert to “telling” rather than “asking“.

Response:

If you are asking a question and you don’t get the response you want, it’s not because the response is wrong, it’s because you are asking the wrong question.

“Speak in terms of the other person’s interests.” Those words rattled around in Susan’s head for a minute. Finally she spoke.

“But, you know, sometimes, there is stuff that I need to communicate. Sometimes there is stuff that is in my interest, or the company’s interest. What do I do then? I mean, it’s all well and good to talk about the other person’s interests, but what about me, what about the company?”

“Susan, you make it sound like your team doesn’t have you or the company at heart. In fact, they do. Let’s take the issue of efficiency. It is in your best interest as the manager and in the company’s best interest for your team to work efficiently, right?”

“Exactly,” Susan replied, moving to the edge of her chair. “I want to talk about efficiency, so how do I talk in terms of the other person’s interests when I want to have a discussion about efficiency?”

“First, Susan, understand that your team also wants to be efficient. Believe it or not, your team wants to be productive and do a good job. They want to do a good job for you and the company. And it is your responsibility, as the manager, to make that connection.

“Gather your team together. Divide them in workgroups of two or three people and tell them the topic for the day is efficiency.

“Today’s topic for discussion is efficiency. But before we talk about how we can be more efficient, let’s talk about why. For the next one minute, work in your teams and write down three benefits that happen when we work more efficiently. The benefits you think about, should be personal benefits to you. You spend 8 hours a day working here and you work hard. What are the personal benefits to you when the team works more efficiently?”

Susan looked at me, then pulled out a sheet of paper. “Let me write that down,” she said.

“But, what if my team just doesn’t want to listen to me?” Susan protested.

“And, how does that make you, as the manager, less responsible for the communication?” I asked.

“Yeah, but, if they don’t want to listen, how can I make them listen?”

“Indeed, how can you make them listen?”

Susan stopped, this wasn’t going anywhere. “I can’t make them listen. If they don’t want to listen, I have to figure out how to get them to want to listen.”

“That’s a start. Remember, as the manager, you are 100 percent responsible for the communication. So, how do you get them to listen in the first place?”

“Well, I guess I have to talk about things they are interested in. I have to get their attention.”

“And since you are 100 percent responsible for the communication, that is exactly where you should start. Speak in terms of the other person’s interests.”

From the Ask Tom mailbag:

Question:
I recently enjoyed your presentation on Time Span at a Vistage meeting. I’m curious about your thoughts on the success of Stratum I or II Sales or Account Execs selling to Stratum III or IV buyers?

Response:
Time Span helps us measure all kinds of things including matching people in the sales process. Here is a (very) raw rule of thumb in the sales process.

• Stratum I – Order Taking, matching features and benefits customer needs, very trainable.
• Stratum II – Relationship building, for those sales where there is risk in the selection of a vendor, where the selection criteria may rest in trust, integrity, reliability. Often the Time Span associated with this sales cycle is longer than three months.
• Stratum III – Engineered solutions. Where the criteria for vendor selection may not be apparent or may require some analysis. This analysis may start with a customer needs assessment to determine the precise nature of the problem, then perhaps testing to determine if the solution is viable.
• Stratum IV – Integrated solutions. Where the selected solution not only impacts the specific problem, but will also impact other systems surrounding the problem. This is the world of unintended consequences that must be explored.

It is easy to see each of these levels when we think about Time Span. Now, pit a Stratum I salesperson with a Stratum IV buyer and you can see the mismatch from the get-go. They speak a different language, use different buying criteria and may appear not to like each other. Sales consultants would lead you down the road of personality testing to resolve this conflict, or suggest that the conversation start around a fishing trophy on the wall of the customer. Both are ineffective strategies.

Matching the Time Span of the salesperson with the Time Span of the customer (buyer) makes for a more productive conversation, a more effective selling process.

We had a comment posted yesterday that I thought was particularly insightful.

Michael Cardus, of Create Learning wrote:

This is a game we all play games within our workplace, we are programmed to play these work games.

“We cannot promise future employment” creates a counter-play. The organization plays the same game with employees, “things are not good, layoffs are happening all around you and the executives have had secret meeting at expensive resorts, and we cannot guarantee you will have a job tomorrow. BUT we still want you to work hard and get the job done.”

What is one supposed to do?

Response:
The reality is tough. It’s tough because of the uncertainty. And because of the uncertainty, we try to cope as best we can. Game playing is a coping mechanism that we think is helping, protecting and delaying. In reality, it just creates a bigger game.

What is one supposed to do?

Pat Murray talks about being straight and sensitive. I don’t see any other way.

“My logic is easy to see, but if I point out that they are wrong, it seems they cling to their ideas even stronger,” Roy’s words rang in his ears.

“When you are faced with a rather difficult problem, where the answer isn’t so obvious, have you ever kicked the can around in your head, deciding one thing, only to change your mind in the very next minute?” I asked.

Roy smiled. “Well, yes, sometimes you have to think about something and you change your mind, from one side to the other.”

“And it happens pretty easily, in your own head, to change your mind?” I added.

“Well, yes,” Roy agreed. “So, what’s your point?”

“If it is relatively easy to change our minds, why is it so difficult for your team to change their minds, when you tell them they are wrong?”

“They just don’t listen,” Roy complained. “You would think they would have some respect. After all, I have been doing this job for more that 15 years.”

“It’s because they have a dot,” I replied.

“What do you mean they have a dot?”

“A dot. Everybody has a dot. Your team members, each, have a dot. You have a dot. Only your dot doesn’t match their dot.”

Roy was quick. “Okay, but if their dot is wrong, why don’t they listen to me?”

“I don’t know, why do you think?”

Roy was ready for bear. That’s a Texas expression that means Roy wanted to argue. And he was perfectly willing to go first. “Sometimes, I think they are just pig-headed, stubborn. My logic is easy to see, but if I point out they are wrong, it seems they cling to their ideas even harder.”

“Imagine that,” I pondered out loud.

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January 26 – Orientation
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From the Ask Tom mailbag:

Question:
How can you help someone improve on their writing skills? We use form letters most often in correspondence and there are not a lot of opportunities to write a letter/memo. Do you have any tips on how I as a manager could assist my direct report? (Aside from taking courses, etc.)

Response:
My best recommendation is practice. I would assign short exercises (3-4 sentences in length) on a periodic basis (1-2x per week) and then spend short coaching sessions (10 minutes) reviewing the exercise. My assignments would be verbal expecting a 3-4 sentence written response.

Before you get started, you will need to sit with this person and define the purpose for the weekly exercise. “We need to work on improving your writing skills so you can be more effective in your role. We are not going to beat a dead horse, but we are going to work on short improvement exercises, where there is no risk. As time goes by, we will shift from exercises to the real writing that our customers (or others) read.”

Using exercises in the beginning allows you to establish a performance improvement program without judging “bad work.” Understand, in the exercises, you are definitely judging, as a manager, the writing performance, but it moves the focus from “bad work” to “improvement” in a non-lethal environment.

It does make some sense, early on in the coaching, to ask “How is what we talked about today, influencing your real written communication with customers?”

Let me know how it goes. -TF