“Do you mean, do I like working with my friends?” Ethan asked.

“You are the manager, now,” I nodded. “It’s not a matter of working with your friends. You are the leader now. It is a different role. It’s not that you are a different person, but you are playing a different role. And, in that role, what is your most important objective?”

“To get the work done, I suppose” he replied.

I continued to nod. “To get the work done today? Or to get the work done this year?” I pressed.

“If we don’t get the work done today, my boss is going to yell at me, so that’s important.”

“Yes, so that lights a bit of a fire under you,” I said. “I watched you pick up your personal pace, walking the floor a bit more quickly, triple checking the work, encouraging the team with a higher pitch in your voice. If we strapped a blood pressure cuff on you, I bet we would see a small rise.”

“I can feel the stress. It builds in the morning, and by quitting time, I am spent,” Ethan dropped his face.

“There is only one way out of this,” I smiled.

“Yes?” Ethan was all ears.

“You have to get the work done today, but your most important objective is to build the team. If you build the team, they will pick up their personal pace, they will walk the floor a bit more quickly, they will triple check their work and you will not have to raise your voice.”