From the Ask Tom mailbag:

Question:

Need advice on recovering from a bad decision I made that has caused my boss and several other to be disappointed in me. I apologized to my boss for my actions and he says I didn’t do anything wrong, but the look on his face and others indicates that that is not his true feelings. I didn’t support my boss and several other is a plan that they worked on for months, I didn’t do it intentionally, just got caught up in the momentum of a new idea. I made a quick decision that was wrong. Really don’t know how to recover and feel better. These people are important to me and I’m personally and professionally upset with myself.

Response:

I am going to agree with your boss and take it on face value that you did NOT do anything wrong. So, quit beating yourself up.

Disagreements and enthusiastic other positions are healthy on any management team. If there are no disagreements, then you don’t need those people on the management team. By the way, this would not be the first time a CEO and a management team worked for six months on the wrong thing.

On the other hand, I don’t need unsubstantiated opinion without evidence to support it. I also need an attitude of cooperation and support in the midst of the disagreement. It sounds like this.

“Thank you for inviting me to this meeting. I know this project is very important to the company.

“This may be difficult to hear, because I know you have all worked very hard on this project, and I am in possession of some information and supporting data that may put this project in jeopardy. We may be working on the wrong thing.

“The reason I am presenting this information today is so that, at the end of the meeting, we can agree on a plan of action. We still may not agree with the facts or the data, but we need to agree on a plan of action that we can all support.

“If you had information that was adverse to one of my projects, I would expect you to challenge me in the same way.

“I have the data organized into a handout and I can present these ideas in approximately five minutes. Do I have the team’s permission to proceed?”

From the Ask Tom mailbag:

Question:

I have been a manager for several years, but have just been reassigned to a new division. I feel like a fish out of water. Their processes are slightly different and all of the people are new to me. And I am new to them. In the past, things were easy, no sweat, very routine, no problem. At every turn, I am getting push-back. No one seems to follow my lead or direction. Everything I say is questioned. And I have some very aggressive goals that I have to achieve.

Response:

Are you getting push-back, or are you getting tested to see where you stand as a manager? Either way, you have some work to do, individual work and group work.

Individually, you need to get to know each team member. This sounds simple, but it’s not.

In our classroom training, we call this the Mineral Rights conversation, digging little wells, looking for interests, influences and values. This is a highly structured conversation with a definite purpose. (Tomorrow, I will cover the Mineral Rights conversation in more detail.)

As a team, you need to leverage the dynamic of the group to establish the lead or direction. You are correct in your observation that no one seems to follow your lead. People only follow the lead that is in their best interest. This is a critical topic for discussion with your team.

What is the work that needs to be done? How can we best help each other to do it? What do you need from me? What do we need from each other?

Notice that the questions come from you as the manager. The responses come from the team. -TF

From yesterday’s mailbag:

Question:

How do you bring in a new team member to an existing team?

Response:

Kurt pointed out (in a comment to yesterday’s post) that the job of bringing on a new team member begins long before the arrival date.

That being said, I believe the new team member is already on site. Now what?

This rite of passage for the new team member is a group issue. It needs to be dealt with by the group. It is up to the manager to create the environment for a positive discussion. The initial topic will be to introduce the new member. And I mean a proper introduction, at a regular team meeting.

What is the previous work experience, what positive qualities were identified during the recruiting process, what role this new person will play? These are all great questions to answer in the introduction.

Subsequent team meetings should provide discussion on Getting Things Done and focus on skills and talents that each team member brings to the table. Part of the discussion should be on the diversity of skill, talent, attitude and energy that will be required from the team as a whole.

I want to create these positive conversations in public with the team rather than allow private pairing conversations to occur at the water cooler. -TF

From the Ask Tom mailbag:

Question:

How do you integrate your team’s newest member when she brings a personality that is more intense than everyone else? Let’s say that she strikes you as being, at times, slightly passive aggressive while the other five teammates are typically a very easy going bunch. There is no doubt that she is productive, but so is everyone else.

Might they have trouble working through in a crisis, if she will not buy into their laid back attitude? What obstacles would you watch out for in this situation?

Response:

Bringing a new person into a team is always the beginning of change for that team. The fastest way to change the culture of any team is to bring in a new team member. For better or worse, things will change, and everything that happens will create a precedent for future events, future relationships within the team.

Before we start looking out for things to go wrong, let’s start with how to productively bring in a new team member, especially one that brings energy, enthusiasm, a fast pace and other great attributes.

Let’s open this up for comments. If you have an experience, observation or recommendation, please post your comment. More tomorrow. -TF