My mood was upbeat, but this conversation with Nathan was not lifting his spirits. His team was not on a mutiny, but they weren’t paying much attention to him.

“So, you have had a bit of difficulty getting out of the gate with your team. As you think about yourself, as a manager, who comes to mind, from your past? Who is that person sitting on your shoulder, whispering in your ear, giving you advice?”

Nathan looked stunned. “That’s weird,” he said. “As I go through my day, I have this silent conversation in my head with an old boss of mine. Whenever I have a decision to make, he pops into my head. It’s like he is watching me and I still have to do it his way. That was years ago, but he still influences me.”

“Was he a good boss?” I asked.

“No, everybody hated him. That is why it’s so weird. I think he was the worst boss I ever had and I am acting just like he did.”

“So, why do you think he has such an influence on you, today?”

“I don’t know,” Nathan said slowly.

“Would you like to be a different manager than your old boss?”

Finally, Nathan smiled. “Yes, absolutely,” he replied.

“Well, that is where we start.” -TF

“So, how long could they keep that up?” I repeated. “As long as nothing changed, how long could your team simply repeat what they did the day before?”

“Well, forever,” Nathan exclaimed. “But things do change.”

“Bingo!” I said. “Things do change and that is what management is all about. Customers change, technology changes, raw materials change, processes change, even our people change. Management is all about change. Change is your guarantee of a never-ending employment opportunity as a manager.”

I smiled, but Nathan didn’t appreciate my jovial attitude.

“I think I am tuned in with that. So, why am I having so much trouble with my team. They don’t listen to anything I have to say.” Nathan’s head swirled as if his thoughts were making him dizzy and he was trying to stabilize.

“Here is the problem,” I replied, waiting until Nathan’s eyes were settled. “Everyone talks about managing change, as if it is the prime directive. We manage this and we manage that. Here is the clue. People don’t want to be managed. People want to be led. Oh, there is still plenty to manage, processes, systems and technology. But try to manage people and it will be a bit like herding cats.” -TF

“You’re a new manager, here. How many days on the job?” I started.

Nathan didn’t have to think on this one. “Six weeks,” he said.

“So, tell me. What do you think a manager does?”

Nathan took his time on this response, now less sure what he should say instead of what he really thought. “Keep people in line. Tell people what to do. Make sure things don’t get out of hand. You know, keep control.”

“Nathan, we have been in here for fifteen minutes. Right now, your team is working productively without you. Do you think they are getting out of line without you?”

“Well, no, but it has only been fifteen minutes,” Nathan replied, clearly uncomfortable.

“And what if I kept you in here the rest of the day? How would they know what to do?”

“Well, I guess pretty much, they would do more of the same thing they did the day before.”

“Yes, they would. And how long could they keep that up, and what does the company really need a manager for?” -TF

“Where did you learn that?” I asked. Nathan, a new manager, had been sidelined by his team.

“I don’t know. I was giving orders for the day and a couple of the guys wandered off and before you know it, I was in the room by myself.”

“What do you think happened?” I continued.

“Well, Troy had been on my case since I was first made manager. Seems he thought he was in line for the job. But the company picked me.”

“So, now, what do you think your challenge is?”

Nathan was quiet, then finally spoke, “Somehow, I have to get them to trust me.”

“Nathan, it’s a long road, to get your team to trust you, even if they have known you for a long time. Where do you think you will start?”

Nathan was still quiet. I poked my head out the door. His team hadn’t abandoned him. They were all at their workstations, doing their work, but it didn’t seem like Nathan was having his way.

“Nathan, I think your team will work okay for the rest of the day. The schedules that were posted yesterday haven’t changed that much. Let’s take a hike down to the coffee shop and talk about a new strategy. It’s tough being the new boss.” -TF

Joel was not shaking, but he was certainly shaken.

“I just don’t know,” he said. “Since I was promoted from being a supervisor to a manager, things are different. It is certainly not as easy as I thought, a bit out of control.”

“Being new to management is tough. No one prepared you for this, they just promoted you and expected you to figure it out,” I replied.

“And what if I don’t figure it out?” Joel asked.

“Oh, you will figure it out. But that is no insurance that you will succeed. There are a number of reasons that managers don’t make the grade. The first reason is commitment. This is harder than you thought it would be. Being a manager requires a passion for being a manager. Being a manager is a lot different than being a supervisor.”

“You are right about that. Being a supervisor was fun, fast paced, things were always changing and I had to respond quickly. Being a manager, things move slower. I have to think about things. And the worst part, most everything I do is accomplished through other people. Other people are hard to control. They don’t always show up the way I want them to.”

“So, you are facing the first challenge of a being a manager. Do you really want to be a manager? Do you have a passion for it? Just saying yes doesn’t make it so. Why do you have a passion for it?” -TF

“Everything seems to change, every day,” Charlotte whispered. In class, we were talking about the frequency of change in her company. She felt the change, but had never said the words.

“Think about this,” I suggested, “if nothing changed in your company, what would your team members be doing at work?”

The anticipated blank stares pierced the silence around the room. “That’s right!” I exclaimed. “If nothing changed, they would never do anything different. They would continue to do the same thing they did the day before. And life would be good.

“But things do change, and that is why you all have jobs as managers. Think of change as your job security. As long as there is change, you will have a job to do.

“As your customers change, as specifications change, as technologies change, as we find better ways to do things, your job, your role as a manager is to modify your systems and processes to accommodate those changes.

“The more things change, the more your company needs competent managers. Lecture over, last one through the door, turn out the lights.” -TF

“You stand for what you tolerate.” The words stung. Miriam’s heart skipped a beat. She thought her team was sympathetic with her plight as a manager. Now, she was not so sure.

She didn’t respond. She didn’t ask any questions. She simply stood up and left the room. Miriam was headed for a conversation she should have had months before.

I headed to the coffee room to wait. This would take either ten minutes or an hour.

This was a ten minute conversation.

When Miriam returned, you could see a sense of relief and calm in her face. The tension was gone. She was the first to speak.

“I asked her if she knew that everyone thought that she was a bully. I said that, as her manager, I had contributed to the problem because I never had the courage to talk to her about it.”

“And how did she respond?” I asked.

“She didn’t believe it, I mean, she accepted that it might be true, but she had no clue that is what people thought.”

“How did you leave it?”

“I told her to think about what I said and that we would talk at the end of the day, that, together, we would figure out what had to change.”

“Change?”

“Yes, I said that, as her manager, I could not tolerate bully behavior. That it had to stop.”

Miriam knew her next steps. The difficult part was over. -TF

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Our next Leadership Program in Fort Lauderdale begins February 26, 2007. Visit www.workingleadership.com.