From the Ask Tom mailbag:

Question:
I am the manager of a team of project managers and several administrative-type “bargained” folks. I have been working with this team for 4 years, and we added another administrative person one year ago. There is constant conflict between this person and the rest of the team.

She is a horrible team player, extremely negative and continues to isolate herself from the rest of the team. My team is extremely close knit, except for this one person. She continues to alienate and isolate herself socially from other people on the team, and increasingly gets upset because she feels like people are ‘avoiding’ her. She says that people completely ignore her – and that she hates to come to work because is constantly alone all day.

I have coached, done team meetings about communication, team work and team building. The rest of the team benefits, not her.

Today she came crying into my office again saying that her team members ignore her and how awful it is to work here. I am a busy professional with so much on my plate, I don’t have time to continue to work on this with her. I am scared to death about saying to her “maybe you need to find another job” because of her bargained status.

Response:
I need more information related to the “bargained” status. Why does this make her a sacred cow?

I would make a deal with her. You will help her find a role that fits her. That role may be on your team, on another team in the company or on another team in someone else’s company. Her choice.

You are not a babysitter. You are not a social worker. You are not a psychologist. You are a MANAGER. Start acting like one. You and your team have work to do. It IS your job to determine the task assignments for your team, provide them with resources, select the members of the team and evaluate each team member’s contribution to the goal. Because I will hold you accountable for the performance of your team, you must also have the authority to de-select a person from your team. (De-selection does not necessarily mean termination, just means this person can’t be on your team).

You can be absolutely supportive in helping her understand the contribution she has the capability to make, including being a valuable contributor to a team effort. If that fits, great. If it doesn’t fit, get her off the team. Help her find another place where she can be happy.

As a manager, you can be sensitive and straight. We have work to get done. If she wants to be a part, she’s on the team. If not, be straight and sensitive and help her find a place where she does fit and make a valuable contribution.

Yes, you gave me some negative feedback. In my training program, as my coach, to create a champion ice skater, we talked about discipline. And now my laces are smartly tied, no longer dragging the ice.

But am I now, by virtue of correcting this weakness, a champion ice skater?

The answer to the question about negative feedback is, yes, it must be spoken, but correcting a weakness does not make a champion. It just means I am not going to fall on my face, skating across my laces.

As my coach, one thing you see, is that I have a natural and strong accelerating push-off. It is my strength. It is the one tool you have, as my coach, to build on strength. Sure, you have to tell me my laces are untied, but correcting that will never make me a champion. To make me a champion, you have to build on strength.

If you have agreed to be my coach, to turn me into a champion ice skater, the first thing you notice is that my skates are untied.

As a habit, I am sloppy about my equipment. The knots in my laces are loose and within minutes, they come apart and the laces drag the ice. As my coach, you want to be positive, but my laces are untied. Do you ignore this weakness, or is it part of your obligation, as a coach, to deliver some negative feedback?

This is not a rhetorical question.

Most people don’t know that I am a championship ice skater.

At least I will be, if you agree to be my coach. As my coach, you have many responsibilities, this is the first.

Woody Allen says that half of making progress in life is just “showing up.” The first responsibility of any coach is to make sure team members show up. I cannot get better unless you show up for practice. So, if you are going to be my coach and turn me into a championship ice skater, your first responsibility is to make sure I show up for practice.

How is your team showing up for practice?

We have two scholarships available for next week’s (Aug 17) kickoff at Working Leadership Online. Coaching Performance – Time Span and Highest Capability. If you would like one, please respond to Ask Tom.

You see the person relax. You know they are capable of more. But they stop, take a break, coast. Compared to their peers, head and shoulders above. So they get head and shoulders above and put it in neutral. You are the manager.

How can you bring this person to a higher plane of performance?

A skill is made of two things. There is a technical knowledge piece. That’s the stuff we go to school for. That is what is taught in textbooks. And it is necessary.

The other piece is most often overlooked, and that is practice. Technical knowledge and practiced performance make a skill. What is your role as a manager, as a coach, in making that happen?

In our coaching series in Working Leadership Online, so far this summer, we have looked at

• Coaching – Bringing Value as a Manager
• Coaching Underperformance – Time Span and the Employee Contract

We finish the series, kicking off next Monday, August 17.

• Coaching Performance – Time Span and Highest Capability

We have reserved ten invitations for a free scholarship. If you would like to receive an invitation, please respond to Ask Tom.

In a week’s time, July 27, Working Leadership Online begins the second in our summer coaching series, Coaching – The Employee Contract and Underperformance. This is perhaps the toughest conversation a manager has to have.

We are offering (10) scholarships to the program. If you are interested in this online program, please reply to [Ask Tom]. First come first served.

I am updating the Orientation to the program, here is a short clip of “How to get the most from this program.”

Learn by doing. This program is not designed as a lecture series. This program is NOT about how much I know. This program is about you. We have developed specific elements to be completed in your working environment. That’s why we called it Working Leadership.

The Goal is NOT to read a bunch of stuff. The Goal is NOT to simply complete assignments. The Goal is to create new habits, habits that are discovered, habits that become a part of who you are, as a manager.

We have created a learning community. Each person in Working Leadership is committed to pushing themselves to a higher level. I know, because this program makes you think. If you are reading this, then you are part of that group with the desire to learn. If you are not that kind of person, well, what’s the point? You aren’t reading this anyway. -TF

“You made the promotion decision. Is that when things began to unravel?” I asked.

Joann looked pensive. Her head slowly nodding. “Yes. So, the problem appears to be an underperforming manager, but the cause of the problem is me?”

“You made the decision. Now, you are living with the result.”

“But, I had hoped this person could make the grade,” she explained.

“And you were hoping you could hang this situation on someone else. Hoping no one would discover your decision.” I could see the blood draining from Joann’s face. “So, what are you going to do?”

“I am going to have to eat some crow,” Joann relented. “I have to take responsibility for the decision. And the first person I have to talk to is the person I promoted.”

Over-promoting someone to a position significantly beyond their capability is a frequent mistake, yet the accountability rarely lands on the person who makes the promotion decision. Often, it ends with a messy termination and no winners.

All of this distraught could have been avoided by testing the candidate prior to the promotion. Testing the internal candidate, with delegated Time Span appropriate tasks, and observing their behavior, in the heat of reality, trumps hope every time.

Rafael chuckled. “Alright, so the first step is to identify the problem. When my team asks for help, instead of me, giving the answer, I should ask them to clearly describe the problem.”

I was trying to stay out of the way, trying not to lead the witness. “Yes?”

“And the second step,” Rafael continued. “The second step, but the problem is, sometimes you can’t go to the second step. Because sometimes, the problem isn’t the problem. I mean, sometimes, the problem is only a symptom. You have to figure out what is causing the problem. That’s the key, the cause of the problem.”

“Write that down. What is the cause of the problem?”

“Once you have the cause of the problem, then it gets easy. There are usually a half dozen ways to fix the cause of the problem, you just pick the best one.”

“Let me get this down,” I said.

• Identify the problem?
• Identify the cause of the problem?
• Identify alternative solutions?
• Pick the best solution?

Rafael now has a genuine and helpful response for his team. Using these four steps, he can influence the process the team uses to solve problems. This process is easy to remember and very teachable. And if consistently used, the team will, over time, solve their current problems and exchange them for more and more complex problems. This process is one of two powerful coaching methods we will use next week in Coaching – Bringing Value as a Manager in Working Leadership Online.

“Watch what my mind thinks?” Rafael mused. “Okay, how do we do that?”

“What’s the purpose here?” I asked. “If we know the purpose, we can figure out what we need to do.”

“Well, the purpose is to create a different response, I can make, when my team asks me to solve a problem. The response has to be helpful, like a coach. You want me to step through how I would solve a problem and then teach it to them,” Rafael stopped, and smiled.

“As we do this, would it be helpful to write it down, so we don’t forget,” I prompted.

“We could do that,” Rafael replied.

“Okay, what’s the first step?”

“Well, first I have to know what the problem is.”

“Good, write that down.”

“No, I mean, before I know what the first step is, I have to know what the problem is.”

I didn’t say a word, just raised my eyebrows. I watched as Rafael arrived at the first step. Identify the problem. There is a coaching point here. I could have told Rafael the first step, but that would play into the same dilemma he was having with his team. The coaching point is NOT to tell people what to do, but to ask questions, to move them to their own conclusions. This is the same process we use in Working Leadership, only there, you get to talk back to me.

“What is the new response? When my team lands the problem on my desk, what is my new response?” Rafael asked.

“First, your response cannot be to give them the solution. That’s what has created this dependency in the first place,” I replied. “But you cannot leave them twisting in the wind. Your response has to be helpful.”

“What, do I give them hints, start a little guessing game?”

“Hardly, we need to create something solid, that you can consistently use, as a coaching tool. Tell me, Rafael, how do you solve problems?”

Rafael stopped. His eyes glanced at the ceiling. “I don’t know, I guess it depends on the problem. Sometimes, I just know the answer.”

“How do you know the answer?” I pushed.

“I don’t know, experience I guess, it just comes to me.”

“You think it just comes to you, but even if it seems instantaneous, your mind goes through a process to solve the problem. All we have to do is slow your mind down and watch what it thinks.”