“Everyone says they have integrity, but I have to tell you, when Roger told me how he managed to skip out on the maintenance fee in that contract, I got a queasy feeling.” Alice was having difficulty, even talking about this.

“I know it was only a $130, but he was so proud that he was able to beat the vendor out of his money. I don’t know, it was just weird.”

“Weird?” I asked.

“Yes. Every agreement you make with other people, you ultimately make with yourself. When you cheat other people, you ultimately cheat yourself. When you break a promise to yourself, you teach your brain to distrust your intentions. You sow the seeds of self doubt. You undermine your strength and integrity.”

I sat silent. Alice was on a roll.

“Every agreement you make with other people, you ultimately make with yourself,” she continued. “When you keep your agreements with other people, you teach your brain to trust your intentions and behavior. Agreements you keep with yourself, that are invisible to others, are the most powerful because they are pure. They sow the seeds of self confidence. You build on your strengths with a foundation of integrity.”