From the Ask Tom mailbag:
Question:
Need advice on recovering from a bad decision I made that has caused my boss and several other to be disappointed in me. I apologized to my boss for my actions and he says I didn’t do anything wrong, but the look on his face and others indicates that that is not his true feelings. I didn’t support my boss and several other is a plan that they worked on for months, I didn’t do it intentionally, just got caught up in the momentum of a new idea. I made a quick decision that was wrong. Really don’t know how to recover and feel better. These people are important to me and I’m personally and professionally upset with myself.
Response:
I am going to agree with your boss and take it on face value that you did NOT do anything wrong. So, quit beating yourself up.
Disagreements and enthusiastic other positions are healthy on any management team. If there are no disagreements, then you don’t need those people on the management team. By the way, this would not be the first time a CEO and a management team worked for six months on the wrong thing.
On the other hand, I don’t need unsubstantiated opinion without evidence to support it. I also need an attitude of cooperation and support in the midst of the disagreement. It sounds like this.
“Thank you for inviting me to this meeting. I know this project is very important to the company.
“This may be difficult to hear, because I know you have all worked very hard on this project, and I am in possession of some information and supporting data that may put this project in jeopardy. We may be working on the wrong thing.
“The reason I am presenting this information today is so that, at the end of the meeting, we can agree on a plan of action. We still may not agree with the facts or the data, but we need to agree on a plan of action that we can all support.
“If you had information that was adverse to one of my projects, I would expect you to challenge me in the same way.
“I have the data organized into a handout and I can present these ideas in approximately five minutes. Do I have the team’s permission to proceed?”
Great question! Food for thought. But, I don’t think we know enough specifics about “the mistake”.
It seems to me that the person made a decision the boss disagreed with. That doesn’t necessarily mean it was “wrong”. It may have been the better path for the company to take, but the boss feels betrayed.
So how do you want to make your decisions? Do you decide things based on loyalty to people? Do you “back them up” regardless of the situation? Or do you make decisions based on the issues themselves? I prefer the latter. I call them like I see them (but I also tread carefully). I believe that most blunders can be prevented when everyone feels free to raise objections.
My advice is: if your manager is heading in the wrong direction, it’s your responsibility to help guide them onto the right path. With two important caveats: raise your concerns as EARLY as possible (to prevent wasted effort) and ABSOLUTELY do it in a PRIVATE SETTING (not in a meeting with a lot of other people present).