The Reward for Hard Work

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“I know I need to delegate more often,” Sharon explained. “But, it just takes that little bit of extra time that I never seem to have. It’s just easier to do it myself.”

“How many hours do you put in each day?” I asked.

“Well, ever since I became a manager, probably ten or eleven. It seems the harder I work, the more work there is to get done.”

“Sharon, do you know the reward for long hours of hard work?” I could see she was going over the obvious answers, dismissing them one at a time. In the end, she had no answer.

“You’re right,” she said, “at this point in my career, I don’t need another plaque to put on the wall. I don’t need to be Employee of the Month, again.”

“The just reward for long hours of hard work is more long hours of hard work.” I stopped. “Is that why you are working so hard?”

Sharon stared, first at me, then the wall behind me, then I think her stare began to burrow into her brain.

“Unless your intention is to work even harder and for longer hours, you have to begin to work differently.” -TF

Invite a Different Person

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Patrick was curious. “I think I understand,” he replied. “When I say you, I sound like a critical parent, no matter how good my intentions are. The word you triggers an emotional response.”

You didn’t do that right.

I nodded, “The word you positions you as the critical parent (ego state) and invites the rebellious child (ego state) to respond. But when you change the word to I, you invite a different person to the conversation.”

I need help with this.

“Who does that sound like?” I asked. “Does that sound like a parent or a child?”

“It sounds like a child. Children always say I want this or I need that,” Patrick replied.

“Exactly. And when you, as a manager use the word I, it positions you differently. More important, who does it invite into the conversation?”

Patrick was quiet, then his face brightened. “A child always asks the parent. When I use the word I,

I need help with this.

“I am asking for help from a parent. I have invited a parent (ego state) into the conversation.” Patrick smiled. This was making sense and now he knew how to go back on the floor and talk to his team member.

Never criticize, it invites a rebellious child to the conversation.
Ask for help, it invites a nurturing parent to the conversation. It is still corrective feedback, just speaking with a different person. -TF

You Didn’t Do That Right

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“In what way can we, as managers, deliver negative feedback, without triggering the fight, flight or freeze response?” I asked.

Patrick shrugged. “I know when I have to do that, it sounds critical, but I just don’t know how to make it sound any better. I have tried that sandwich thing where I start with something positive, then criticize the person, then end with something positive.

“But, they know I am making up the positive parts just so I can slide in the criticism. They are smart. They know the game. Sometimes, it just makes the person angrier.”

“Patrick, I want to talk about words. We understand the intent of negative feedback, and we have to find the words. Words mean things.

“I want to change the pronoun. Criticism uses the pronoun you.

You didn’t do that right.
If you would do it this way, it would be better.

“To a rebellious child (state of mind), you sounds like a critical parent. Even if it is a statement of fact or said in a nurturing tone of voice, you sounds like a critical parent and invites more rebellion.

“I want to change the pronoun to I.

I need help with this.
I am seeing this process a different way.
I want to speed things up here.
I would like to change this.
In what way can we make this better?

“This one simple change invites a different person into the conversation. Do you know why?” -TF

The Rebellious Child

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“Fight, flight or freeze,” repeated Patrick. “That’s it. He freezes, like a deer in the headlights.”

I smiled. Patrick was catching on. “Have you ever noticed, that when you criticize other members of your team, they respond differently?” I asked.

“Oh, yeah,” Patrick nodded. “Sally gets red in the face and starts arguing with me. And Charlie usually makes some excuse about checking inventory, then disappears for forty-five minutes.”

“Fight, flight or freeze,” I repeated. “Whenever you criticize, you tap into that part of the brain. You tap into the rebellious child who wants to fight, or the compliant child who wants to vanish. Fight, flight or freeze. Which of those contributes to productivity?”

Patrick almost started laughing. “You’re right. No wonder I always feel like a critical parent.”

“So, the question is still on the table. How can we, as managers, provide corrective feedback that gets a different response?” -TF

Fight, Flight or Freeze

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“How did you expect him to respond?” I asked.

“I expected him to stop doing what he was doing and do what I told him to do,” answered Patrick. “Instead, he just froze. He stopped. His face went blank, like he was all confused. So I left the floor to let him figure it out, get his bearings. Ten minutes later, I’m back out there and he is doing it the old way again. As soon as he sees me, he stops, like he is lost. It was like his first day on the job again.”

“How would you describe his attitude, as a worker?” I asked.

“He has a good attitude, you can tell he wants to do things right, but when you criticize his work, he goes totally incompetent on you.”

“Why do you think that happens?”

“I don’t know. It’s not logical or rational. It’s like he isn’t thinking with part of his brain.”

“Which part of his brain isn’t working?”

“Like, I said,” Patrick continued, “the logical, rational part.”

“So, when you criticize him, what part of his brain do you think you are tapping into? Because you know we all have different parts to our brain.” Patrick was stumped. He knew about different parts of the brain, but he was a manager, not a psychologist.

“Patrick, there are three big parts of the brain. First is that logical, rational part. Second is the emotional part. And the third is the oldest part of the brain. This old brain is what we first used for survival back in the early days of man. This old brain is constantly looking out for danger. Of course, danger today is different than back in the dinosaur days, but it still operates. Most of the time, the old brain, when it senses danger triggers a “fight” or “flight” response. But sometimes, it doesn’t know what to do and just freezes. I call it fight, flight or freeze.

“Think about your criticism as a danger signal that creates fear and I think you will gain some insight into his response.

“As a manager, at times, we have to provide negative feedback, corrective guidance, especially in matters of safety, specific sequences, the way we deal with customers and so on. In what way can we, as managers, provide that feedback without invoking the fight, flight or freeze response?” -TF

We Can’t Talk About It

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From the Ask Tom mailbag:

Question:

I find myself sometimes in meetings where things are often decided in advance, by politics. And the meeting seems just organized to the appearance of democracy. There is no control in these meetings. They just happen and sometimes it is better to just let it go and walk away. Nevertheless, I step out of those meetings with a bad feeling.

Response:

First, your stomach is an excellent guidepost to the effectiveness of a meeting. When your stomach feels bad, something was not discussed that is actually preventing the organization from making progress.

This often happens counter the intentions of the manager.

Susan was concerned about her team not being creative enough. She called a meeting to come up with some creative ideas to solve a customer problem. When the meeting started, Susan passed around copies of her list of ideas. Then she asked the group to come up with their ideas. She was disappointed that no one else had any. NONE. So she called to complain that her team isn’t creative. She feels so overworked because she has to come up with all the ideas.

Worse, her team comes out of that meeting feeling bad that they had not contributed. It was all they could do to properly support the ideas that Susan came up with.

It was all pretense, all the appearance of participation. So, what is the issue? What is NOT being discussed, that must be discussed for Susan’s team to make progress going forward? -TF

What Can We Do To Help?

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Once again, I am in awe at the collective wisdom and the willingness to share among the people who read Management Skills Blog. Yesterday we published a question from our mailbag. Here is the essence:

I have difficulty getting anything done because the people lack interest. They do not realize how much the business hinges on IT. I have tried introducing standard policies like email, AUP, DRP, a disaster recovery plan, but they just have no interest despite the importance.

To read the full story and all of the comments, please follow this link. Silly Policy.

One thing I have found over the years in classroom teaching, no matter how smart I think I am, no one listens. My son doesn’t listen, my wife doesn’t listen, my class members don’t listen. Yet, I am a teacher. How do I get people to listen? It’s the same conundrum for our IT manager. How can he get people to understand how important his IT policies are? It’s actually the same conundrum for any manager with any policy. How do we get people to listen?

We don’t. People will not listen until they see the benefit to listen. Here is what I would do if I were the IT manager in this situation. The objective is to raise awareness of the importance of these policies and procedures.

I would start with a survey. This can be administered via email without anyone’s permission. The questions should follow something like this:

1. On any given day, how many hours do you spend at the computer?
2. What tasks do you perform each day that are made easier with the computer?
3. How would you accomplish those daily tasks if the computer system were to fail this Friday?
4. How important is our computer system to your ability to perform in your role?
5. How could the computer system better help you perform in your role?
6. What could the IT department do to better help you perform in your role?

Remember, this is just the beginning to establish two things.
1. How the computer system is really helpful.
2. How much you are interested in their success.

And this is just the beginning. -TF

Silly Policy?

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From the Ask Tom mailbag:

Question:

I work for an insurance company as an IT administrator. I have difficulty getting anything done because the people lack interest. They do not realize how much the business hinges on IT. I have tried introducing standard policies like email, AUP, DRP, a disaster recovery plan, but they just have no interest despite the importance. These are business critical policies that need to be in place in any organization. I have tried all I can and put simply, I am annoyed and tired. What should I do? How can I make them see the importance of IT? How can I make them cooperate? Please advise.

Response:

This is a conundrum about any kind of policy or procedure, whether it is administrative, a manufacturing process or a safety procedure. Some people in the organization just don’t seem to care about your silly policy, when there are a ton of reasons why. I am going to give my readers a chance to respond before I jump on the bandwagon. -TF

So Simple, We Failed

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Marcus was already in the conference room when I arrived. He had some papers spread on the table. I could tell by the look on his face he already had the answer. We were drilling down on an installation project that was under water.

“I knew when you asked for the production reports,” he started, “that we would find the problem within 30 seconds.”

“And?” I queried.

“You don’t even have to read the reports. The first three weeks, things are very repetitive. So repetitive that, starting in the fourth week, you can tell someone just photocopied the reports from the week before. The only change is the date at the top of the page. Then starting in week six, the reports stop.”

“And what does that tell you?”

“Well,” Marcus grimaced, “the quality of these reports follows exactly the real production curve in the field. We were meeting targets for the first three weeks. Things began to slide in week four and by week six, things went to hell in a hand basket.

“This is a very repetitive job, and it is very apparent that the weekly planning process just stopped. Everyone figured they would just keep working instead of stepping back to check progress and adjust. It seemed so simple, they lost the discipline of planning.

“The managers probably saved three hours per week in planning and checking, but lost more than 180 man hours in productivity. And they didn’t even know it until it was too late.”

“What’s the lesson?” I asked.

“Don’t get lulled in by the appearance of simplicity. You still have to plan and check. In this case, the payoff would have been three hours to save 180 hours.” TF

What Happened?

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I don’t know what happened.” Marcus grimaced. “Sure we were working under some tight restraints,” he explained. “During the first part of the contract, things were going well, but by the end, the wheels were coming off.”

“What do you think happened?” I asked.

“The contract called for several thousand feet of installation. We hit it with enthusiasm, high energy, everything clicked. I don’t know, but midway, we began to fall behind. Because of the working conditions, we could only work eight hours each day. Maybe we got sloppy, in the end, trying to finish, our quality got so poor that we had to go back and re-work several sections. First our margins disappeared, then our budget went completely underwater.”

“What do you think caused the erosion?”

“I don’t know. It was like we ran out of gas. I mean, everyone knew what to do. Technically, everyone was trained. The daily punch out was identical from start to finish. In the beginning, it was easy. In the end it was impossible. We just couldn’t keep up the momentum.”

“So, it wasn’t a matter or know-how or training. It wasn’t a matter of external conditions. Was it a matter of incentive or motivation?”

“No, you could see it in the eyes of the crew. They were in it, they were with it. They just could not produce.”

“Tell you what,” I interrupted. “Let’s pull the production records of the crew for the past six months and see what we find.”

Marcus went silent. I could tell he had mentally stumbled upon the reason. Before he left the room, he said he would have the records by the next morning. -TF