What Are the Clues?

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“So, how do you find out what they want?” asked Martin. “You know, sometimes I talk to them about stuff like this. Sometimes, I ask them what their goals are. And sometimes, they don’t have a clue.

“I know it’s important to get some alignment between what I want (or what the company wants) and what they want. But sometimes, I don’t think they know.”

“You are right,” I agreed. “Often, people don’t know what they want. Think about this, though. People want what they value.

“How important is it for you, as a manager, to find out what your individual team members value?”

Martin pondered a moment. “I am with you. It is important,” he replied. “But how do you find out about a person’s values when sometimes they don’t even know themselves?”

“Let’s start with the easy stuff,” I suggested. “What clues can you tell about a person simply from their appearance?”

“You mean, in terms of values?” Martin asked. I nodded. “Well, you can tell some things about a person by the way they dress. Attention to detail, neatness, or sloppiness.”

“I have an exercise for you, Martin. Remember, a person’s dress is only a clue, not absolute certainty. Nonetheless, I want you to make a list of your top three team members, and simply by the way they dress, write down some words that describe their positive attributes. I will meet you here tomorrow to talk about some other ways to determine values in other people.” -TF

Most Never Ask

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Martin held his head in his hand. He squinted and looked at the ceiling. “Do you mean that all my attempts at motivation have been like hitting my head against a brick wall?” he asked.

I raised my eyebrows and shook my head affirmative. “People will only comply with what you want to do. They will commit to what they want to do. All you have to do is figure out the alignment between what you want and what they want.”

“So, I know what I want. How do I find out what they want?”

“Most times,” I replied, “all you have to do is ask. I know it sounds simple, but most managers never ask.” -TF

No Matter How Badly You Want It

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“You cannot motivate anyone to do anything,” I observed. Martin was stumped.

“But I thought that was part of my job,” he protested.

“You can think that all you want, but it is not possible,” I continued. I could see in Martin’s eyes that he was conflicted between what he thought and his real experience trying to motivate his team members.

“Well, you may be right,” he finally replied. “Sometimes it seems easy to get people to do what I want, but other times, it seems impossible.”

“When it seems easy, what do you think is going on?” I asked.

“When it seems easy, it’s like they already wanted to do it in the first place.” Martin paused. “It seems impossible when they didn’t ever want to do it.”

“So, it doesn’t seem to matter what you want, as the manager, or how badly you want it. The only thing that seems to matter is whether your team members want to do it?”

The lights were circling in Martin’s head. The whole time, as a manager, he had been looking at motivation as getting people to do something he wanted. His mind was beginning to change. -TF

Change and Job Security

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“Everything seems to change, every day,” Charlotte whispered. In class, we were talking about the frequency of change in her company. She felt the change, but had never said the words.

“Think about this,” I suggested, “if nothing changed in your company, what would your team members be doing at work?”

The anticipated blank stares pierced the silence around the room. “That’s right!” I exclaimed. “If nothing changed, they would never do anything different. They would continue to do the same thing they did the day before. And life would be good.

“But things do change, and that is why you all have jobs as managers. Think of change as your job security. As long as there is change, you will have a job to do.

“As your customers change, as specifications change, as technologies change, as we find better ways to do things, your job, your role as a manager is to modify your systems and processes to accommodate those changes.

“The more things change, the more your company needs competent managers. Lecture over, last one through the door, turn out the lights.” -TF

They Won’t Listen to Me

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From the Ask Tom mailbag:

Question:

I’m a new manager for a staff of about 65 people. It seems that my predecessor was not a good manager. I have been left with people who have been misinformed about company and regulatory policies. Anytime I point out something that is being done incorrectly I end up being the bad guy. I’ve tried to be nice, explain my reasoning and show proof but it doesn’t work. They just keep saying the previous manager didn’t tell them. One staff member even called another department to complain. How can I get them to listen and comply with rules? Should I start writing people up or just keep explaining myself?

Response:

One thing I learned a long time ago, was that no one listens to me. It doesn’t matter how brilliant I am. It doesn’t matter how much I nail the solution to the problem, I get no respect. It’s the Rodney effect.

Why should they listen to you? Whatever you have to say means a change for them. And it doesn’t matter if you are right.

There is one person, however, that they will listen to. Do you know who that is? If you can figure out who that person is and get that person to dispense the helpful advice, you might get some traction.

I have found the only person from whom people will take negative criticism is themselves. The advice has to come from them.

Here is how I would start. I would observe the kinds of things that people are doing incorrectly and take some notes, build a list. Then I would call a meeting to discuss how we could make improvements in various areas. I would describe one difficulty or problem or one process in which we would like a different result. Divide the team into smaller groups of 2-3 to brainstorm ideas to get the best ideas, then invite team members to take the new actions and try them out.

I would conduct these five minute meetings 2-3 times per week, looking at all kinds of ways to make improvements. Pretty soon, they will see new ideas you never thought of. And you don’t have to be the critical parent. -TF

The Intersection

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“In a conversation, how can you tell someone is ignoring you?” I asked.

“That’s easy,” Lawrence replied. “No eye contact, no questions, they look bored.”

“And in a conversation, how can you tell someone is listening attentively?”

“Well, this time they have eye contact, they stare at you.”

“And all the while you are talking, what are they waiting to do?” I continued.

Lawrence thought for three seconds. “Well, they are probably waiting to a word in edgewise.”

“And in a conversation, how can you tell someone is listening to understand?”

“Well, maybe they are taking notes, maybe they repeat back what they heard.”

“And in a conversation, how can you tell when someone is listening to learn?”

Lawrence was not so quick on this one. Finally, he ventured, “Well, they are listening to understand, but they are also listening to see how what I say fits with what they think.”

“Precisely,” I followed. “And it is at that moment that magic happens. At the intersection of what you think and what I think is the beginning of something new.” -TF

It’s Not About Talking

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“Communication, my biggest issue is communication,” explained Lawrence. “That’s what it all boils down to. If we could just communicate, if we just would communicate more effectively, things would be better.”

“Do you have trouble speaking?” I asked.

“No,” he retorted. “I always know what I want to say.”

“Well, then it seems you have that part down. If talking is the one part of communication that you don’t have a problem with, what is the other part of the conversation?”

Lawrence was a bit chagrined. He was no dummy. “Listening,” he replied.

“Lawrence, if you would just listen, your customer will tell you how they want to be treated. If you would just listen, your team will tell you how to solve the problem. If you would just listen, your team member will tell you how they want to be motivated.

“Most managers think communication is all about talking, when, the critical part is all about listening.” -TF

What Has Changed?

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So, where do we start?

Awareness.

Think of all the things that have changed.

In your industry?

In your company?

With your team?

With yourself?

Leadership is about you. What has changed about you?

Nothing?

Thou shalt not kid thyself. (11th Commandment). -TF

In the Ditch

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Phillip’s team looked at each other, across the table, and for the first time saw something different. No more were they simply co-workers, but now interdependent members of a group whose success depended on those connections.

We were talking about changing habits.

“No one succeeds by themselves,” I said. “At least for anything of significance. Sure you can think you are the Lone Ranger and prance around like you are someone important, but to achieve anything of real significance, you need a team. Each of you will, at some point, stumble, make a mistake, misjudge a situation. Each of you will, at some point, become discouraged, or become a Prima Dona, full of yourself.

“And when that happens, you will not recognize it in yourself, soon enough. You need each other to tell you those things, to make each of you better. Without each other, you will end up in ditch somewhere and no one will notice.” -TF

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Our next Leadership Program begins in Fort Lauderdale on February 26. We have one seat available. For more information, visit www.workingleadership.com.

Sustaining Change

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Phillip had assembled his sales team. They had promised to meet to look over their schedules for the following week. One or two had substantial clutter on a spreadsheet looking paper. Others had something tucked away inside a folder, a corner peeking out, but nothing available for casual inspection.

“Phillip tells me, you all decided to make some changes with the way you go to market,” I started. “I am very interested to hear about your plans.”

There was some shuffling of bodies around in chairs, everyone trying to get comfortable with this new accountability.

“I see some schedules for next week,” I continued. “Let’s get the cards out on the table.” Everyone looked to their left and then to their right, some schedules appeared, then more, then all. Some were full of chicken scratch, some were sparse.

I asked Phillip to explain, again, the purpose of the meeting, the purpose of the schedules, the purpose of this change of habit. We went around the circle, each explaining their schedule.

“Here is the secret,” I observed. “This is what will make this work. And if you don’t do this, the likelihood for success is slim.

“Many people think that making this kind of change is noble and the nobility will sustain it. Others think that if they don’t make this change, they will feel guilty and the guilt will sustain the change. Neither of those thoughts work.

“The only thing that will sustain this change will be to gather those people around you who will not let you off the hook, who will hold you accountable for what you promise to each other. It is the only thing that will sustain you through those time when you want to quit, or when you feel lazy.

“So, look around the table, my friends. This is the group that will help you to the next level. You just have to give them permission to hold you accountable.” -TF