“I think, when I tell people what to do, acting like a big shot, that does not create trust,” Nathan started. “In fact, I don’t even have to be acting like a big shot to be perceived as a big shot.”

“Why do you think that?” I asked.

“It seems that no matter how tactful I am, or how I sugarcoat it, when I am telling people what to do, I sound like a critical parent.”

“That is quite a discovery,” I remarked. “So, how do you tell people what to do, without sounding like a critical parent?”

“I don’t think I can. I can’t tell them, they have to tell me.”

I knew Nathan was on the right path, just curious if he was putting it all together. “What do you mean?”

Nathan thought for a bit. “Instead of telling my team member what to do, I should ask them how they intend to accomplish the task at hand. Instead of me telling, I want them telling.”

Nathan was waiting for my response, but he didn’t get the advice he was looking for. “So, let’s go try it out.” -TF

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Our next Leadership program kicks off Monday, April 23. Visit www.workingleadership.com for pre-registration.

Nathan was waiting for me in my favorite place, the coffee room. “What are we going to talk about today?” I asked.

“You said we were going to talk about the Prime Directive,” Nathan responded.

“Which is what?”

“My role, as a manager is to add value to the thinking and the work of my team members.”

“And you were going to bring me a list of ways you could do that.”

“Indeed,” Nathan announced, proudly producing a single sheet with several items on it.

“So, look down your list and pick the top three items that make sense to do first,” I directed.

Nathan was proud of his list, but he had not considered that some things made sense to do before other things. Finally, he spoke. “Well, I have twelve things on my list, but the thing I need to do first isn’t on here.”

“Which is?”

“I think before I do anything, I have to create a sense of trust. In fact, without a sense of trust, none of the things on the list are possible.”

“In your meetings, you invited Rachel, Edward and Billy to run certain parts. Does that create trust or mistrust?”

“Well, trust,” blurted Nathan.

“So, you have already started to build the trust that is required to be effective. What’s next?” -TF

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Our next Leadership program kicks off Monday, April 23. Visit www.workingleadership.com for pre-registration.

So, Nathan survived his next meeting. No one walked out. It was a productive ten minutes. Maybe his team was going to give him a chance.

“Now what?” he asked.

“Prime Directive,” I stated flatly.

“Prime Directive?”

“Bring value to the thinking and work of each of your team members.”

Nathan’s face became a jigsaw puzzle. “What does that mean?” he asked.

“Look, Nathan, there are a number of things that are required of an effective manager. Some things you do will work against you. Some things will work for you. Remember the Prime Directive.”

I detected a glimmer of understanding in Nathan’s eyes.

“You are a new Manager. You have been a successful supervisor, but your focus needs to be different, now. Over the next 24 hours, I want you to make a list of what you think your role is, related to the Prime Directive. We will meet tomorrow.” -TF

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Our next Leadership program begins April 23 in Fort Lauderdale. Visit www.workingleadership.com.

“But most of the time, I don’t think about what I am thinking about,” Nathan defended.

“You are right,” I responded. “Most people are not aware of their thoughts. Most people are unconscious.” Nathan was with me so far.

“Nathan, have you ever noticed people talking around the water cooler?”

“Well, yeah. It’s a popular gathering place.”

“And what do they talk about, around the water cooler?”

Nathan was quick to reply, “Oh, boy, usually it’s the juicy stuff. Fastest grapevine in the west.”

“Positive stuff, or negative stuff?” I asked.

Nathan chuckled, “Oh, negative, for sure.”

“It’s negative and it’s unconscious,” I explained. “People don’t do it on purpose, negative talk is unconscious. That is why it is so important to become conscious about your thoughts. Positive thoughts require conscious effort.

“It’s time for you to start thinking on purpose.” -TF

“You’re serious,” said Nathan.

“As serious as a heart attack,” I replied.

“You want me to actually try to think about Mr. Johnston watching me whenever I have a big decision to make?”

“It’s better than allowing your worst boss into your head.”

“It’s funny,” said Nathan. “It kind of makes sense. I just don’t know why. It’s almost weird.”

“Here’s the thing, Nathan. You are what you think about. Only you have control over what you think about. You can think positive thoughts or you can think negative thoughts. But whichever thoughts you think will be the thoughts that influence your decisions, your behavior. Those thoughts will ultimately define who you are.

“Being a manager, this is where it starts.” -TF