Author Archives: Tom Foster

About Tom Foster

Tom Foster spends most of his time talking with managers and business owners. The conversations are about business lives and personal lives, goals, objectives and measuring performance. In short, transforming groups of people into teams working together. Sometimes we make great strides understanding this management stuff, other times it’s measured in very short inches. But in all of this conversation, there are things that we learn. This blog is that part of the conversation I can share. Often, the names are changed to protect the guilty, but this is real life inside of real companies.

Just Ask Questions

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“So, how did it go?” I asked. Cheryl had just emerged from her team meeting. Her eyes were still wide in partial disbelief.

“I am not sure, but I think we have solved the quality problem with the incoming plastic parts,” she replied.

“How did that happen?”

“Instead of telling the team what to do, I just asked questions and listened. I knew how I wanted this problem solved, but I listened. At first they were going off a cliff, so I asked the question in a different way. It was like magic. They gave me the solution I was looking for. Before I could say anything, they started volunteering to fix the problem.

“It seems that the burrs on the plastic parts were all from the same lot number. Sherman volunteered to run the defective parts over a grinder to remove the burr, but it was Andrew who surprised me.

“He volunteered to call the molding company and find out what was causing the burr. In fact, he left the meeting for five minutes and had the answer. The molder knew there was a problem with that lot, but didn’t think it would matter. They have since fixed the problem and are sending a short run over for us to inspect. Andrew said he would be standing by.”

“So, why does this surprise you?” I asked.

“I didn’t sleep last night worrying about how the meeting would go. I was expecting a big confrontation. Turns out, all I had to do was ask two questions.”

“So, what are you going to do the rest of the day?”

“I was thinking about taking a nap,” Cheryl said with a smile.

The Intersection

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Cheryl was impatient to get to her meeting. She knew how this get-together would be different. Her behavior would be the first to change. Instead of a one-way interaction, Cheryl planned to ask questions and listen.

“I know listening is important,” she said.

“It is the easiest thing to do and also the most difficult,” I prompted. “Tell me, what will you be listening for?”

“I will be listening for good ideas to solve this Quality Control issue,” Cheryl was quick to answer.

“That’s a good start, but the solution isn’t the hard part. Heck, they know the solution. The hard part is getting the solution executed. That’s where you have been getting push-back.”

Cheryl glanced at the ceiling, then at the table. “You’re right. The resistance has been implementing the inspection program. I will just have to try to understand their position better.”

“Cheryl, it’s more than listening for understanding. Understanding only gets you halfway there. You have to listen for discovery. You have to discover where their position intersects with your position. Only when you find that intersection, that common ground, can you begin a conversation to build the best solution. When you find that common ground, you will begin to build the trust necessary to gain the willing cooperation of your team.”

Cheryl lifted her pen to the paper on the table. She drew a line and wrote “the team.” She drew another line crossing and labeled it “me.” Where the lines intersected, she wrote “the starting place.”

—

We are hunkered down waiting for Ernesto to pass. Not too serious, but it was a good shake-out of our preparedness plans. We will be better prepared for the next storm. -TF

The Position We Listen From

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My coffee was piping hot, hazelnut with a little cream. Cheryl’s meeting was to start in a few minutes. She was determined to turn things around with her team. She was hired as a troubleshooter in Quality Control, but finding the problem and fixing the problem are two different things.

“So today, you said you were going to listen?” I asked.

Cheryl nodded “Yes.”

“What position will you be listening from?”

The question caught Cheryl off-guard. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

“The way we see the world is often influenced by our position. In fact, you have listened to your team before, but you were listening from a position of judgment, so you didn’t hear what they had to say.” I stopped to let that sink in. “What position will you be listening from today?” I repeated.

“I guess I will be trying to understand their point of view.”

“Not bad, but not aggressive enough to be effective. What position do you want to be listening from?”

Cheryl was stumped. “Curiosity?” she finally blurted out.

I nodded. “So, when you sit in your meeting today, you will be listening from the position of a curious child?”

Cheryl smiled.

“And curious children always have a lot more fun than stuffy old Quality Control managers,” I said. “And curious children often invent interesting ways to solve problems.”

—

My thanks to Clyde Horner for reminding about the “position we listen from.” -TF

Who Has to Change First?

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“So, what are you going to do differently?” I asked. Cheryl had just received some brutally honest feedback from her team. Rather than become defensive, she was taking it to heart, a really tough move for Cheryl.

“As much as I know that I have things figured out,” she said, “that doesn’t seem to hold water around here.” Cheryl was truly struggling. She knew her team needed to make some changes, but she knew she had to make some changes first.

“So, what are you going to do differently?” I repeated.

“It’s almost like I have to do everything differently. The worst part is, that I can look at a problem and immediately know what to do. But I am going to have to lead my team through the problem solving process to make any headway with them. It just takes so much time.”

“Cheryl, sometimes you have to slow down before you can go fast?”

“I know,” she replied.

“So, what are you going to do differently?”

“First, I am going to have to listen more and talk less.”

“Good. When is your next team meeting?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Let’s meet about a half hour before and talk about how that meeting is going to be different.” -TF

A Tough Session

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Cheryl was waiting in the conference room when I arrived. I could see that her meeting had some unexpected twists.

“I felt like I had been fed to the wolves,” she started. “You were right, they said the problems with the finished goods were my problems. They said that I was responsible for the 2 percent increase in failure rate.”

I nodded. “So, how did your stomach feel?”

Cheryl looked genuinely pissed, but maintained her composure. “It was upside down. You could have cut the tension with a knife.”

“That’s good,” I said. “When your stomach is upside down, you are almost always talking about a real issue that needs to be out on the table.” Cheryl may have been looking for sympathy. “So, what did you say?”

“I practiced that stupid speech we talked about, so that is what I said. I told them that I needed their help. It felt strange. I didn’t like it. I felt like I was leaving my reputation totally in their hands. I felt like I was losing control.”

“And how did they respond?” I asked. “Did they argue with you?”

“Well, no,” Cheryl replied. “They were mostly silent. Then Hector pulled one of the parts from the reject pile. He pointed out a burr that was in the same place on every part. Sammy spoke up and said they had run short on that same part the week before. Get this. Because they were short, they used the rejected parts to finish the batch.

“They said they would have asked me what to do, but that I had been yelling at them, so they all kept quiet.” Cheryl stopped.

“It was a tough session?”

“It seems I was the problem. Yes, it was a tough session.”

The Invitation

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Just because Cheryl saw the light didn’t mean she knew what to do or what to say. She knew she had sounded like a critical parent and invited the response of a rebellious child.

“And now, you have a whole group of rebellious children?” I followed.

“I suppose so,” lamented Cheryl. “I think I already dug a hole for myself. How do I get out of it?”

“What could you try?” I asked.

“What if I explained the connection between bad incoming parts and the failure rate of our finished goods?”

“So, you think if they understand the logic of the problem, things might be better?”

Cheryl bit her lip on this question. “I think they already understand the logic of the problem. I also believe they think it is my problem and that I have to solve it. And they don’t seem willing to help.”

“As long as they believe you are the critical parent, it will continue to be your problem and yours alone.” I let that sink in. “You have to invite them to willingly become problem solvers. You have to invite them to willingly become accountable for the solution.

“I don’t know what to do. When I got here, the failure rate was 18 percent. Now, the failure rate is 20 percent. I need the team’s help. But, I don’t know what to say.” Cheryl was disappointed in her setback, but determined to make some headway.

“Tell them just what you told me,” I responded. “Get your team together and give them that same short speech.

When I got here two months ago, the failure rate on finished goods was 18 percent. I have tried some things, but the failure rate has increased to 20 percent. If we are going to solve this thing, I need your help. I need your ideas. I need your follow-through. I cannot do this myself.

“Then call a meeting for 9:00a tomorrow. Ask each team member to come prepared to talk about ideas that may improve the failure rate. Let’s see what happens.” -TF

Inviting an Argument

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“I tell them what to do and all they do is argue,” complained Cheryl.

“How does that sound?” I asked. “Pretend I am running the line. What mistake could I make that needs correction?”

“They always forget to inspect incoming materials for quality. They just dump the parts in the bin. This company hired me to prevent quality errors. It starts by inspecting the incoming plastic parts,” Cheryl explained.

“So, I take a box of incoming plastic parts and I dump them into the bin for assembly, but I don’t check them for quality, first?”

“Exactly,” said Cheryl. “You can’t do that. I personally inspected all the incoming parts from yesterday and now you have them all mixed up. What were you thinking? You will have to pull all the parts out of the bin and re-inspect every one. We are having a 20 percent failure rate on finished goods and it’s all your fault.”

“What kind of response do you get?” I queried.

“Oh, they say they never had to inspect parts before I came along, or that they didn’t make the damn parts so it’s not their fault. I can’t seem to get them to take responsibility. They sound like little kids. –I didn’t do it, not my fault.-”

“So, if they sound like little kids, what do you sound like?”

“What do you mean?” Cheryl became quietly curious.

“If they sound like children, do you sound like a parent?”

Cheryl stopped cold. She was ticking the conversation back in her head. “My goodness, I sound like my mother.”

“And when you sound like a critical parent, what kind of response do you invite?” I asked.

“When I sound like a critical parent, I invite them to argue with me?” Cheryl’s question sounded more like an answer.

“So, we have to figure out a way to correct the behavior without inviting an argument.” -TF

Find a Mentor

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From the Ask Tom mailbag:

Question:

I am currently in the IT helpdesk-desktop support field and have been there for five years. I am looking into an entry level management position in IT. What are some of the key things that one should learn or be very strong in.? Much appreciate your response to this.

Response:

First, look at the specific requirements for the position you are going after. Speak with the current supervisor of that position and ask the same question.

Next, there are some core skills that every manager should sharpen, no matter the industry. These include time management, communication skills, planning skills and the like. My favorite book on these subjects was written by Peter Drucker back in the 1960’s called the Effective Executive. It’s still available from Amazon and is a quick read.

Finally, start hanging around with other managers in your company. Find someone to be a mentor, someone you can bounce ideas off of, someone who asks you questions and makes you think. -TF

Breathe Deep

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From the Ask Tom mailbag:

Question:

I am a young manager, 24 years old. Lately, I noticed that I can come across as nervous and anxious during certain situtations. When interviewing applicants for a position open in my department, talking to an employee about performance, speaking to the group, I sometimes feel as if that’s the last place I want to be. My heart rate goes up, hands start shaking, voice cracks. It is as if I have no confidence in myself and am afraid of the person I am confronting/dealing with. Do you have any tips or advice to improve self-confidence as a manager and not be so nervous when dealing with confrontation or taking a leadership role?

Response:

Every single manager I know, at times, has these same feelings. There are probably a hundred things you can do that will help, but let’s start with these two.

First, is preparation. My personal stress level goes up whenever I have properly prepared. For an interview, that means creating a written list of questions. Talking to an employee, that means defining the objective for the conversation and several points that need to be covered.

Second, is to breathe. Whenever we are placed in stress, our heart rate does go up and our breathing becomes shallow. Slow down and deepen your breathing. This physiological change will reduce your racing heartbeat and physically calm you down.

Any other suggestions, post a comment. -TF

How am I Doing?

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From the Ask Tom mailbag:

Question: (continued from yesterday)

I am a Regional Manager, responsible for seven locations across the Midwest. At times, I feel as if I am not in touch with their issues, challenges or daily routines. In fact, some are not even “available” for lunch or dinner when I am in town. Have I lost touch?

Response:

First, my question. When you do meet with your managers are you bringing real value to the conversation, or would they just as soon skip it? If you are bringing real value to their thinking and their work, your managers will look forward to these meetings. They will not miss these meetings for all the tea in China.

So, what does that conversation sound like? How do you, as their manager, bring value to their thinking and their work?

Most managers think they bring value by providing direction and advice. Of course, there are times when direction and advice are helpful, but please, don’t ask me to dinner so you can tell me what to do.

Instead, ask me questions. Ask me how I am doing. Really doing. Ask me about my challenges or difficulties. Ask me how I am solving my problems. Ask me how I feel about my job. Ask me how I feel about my life. No advice, just ask and listen. I would love to tell you how I am doing. I would love to tell you how I feel about my life, the things that are important to me. Come here, you can take me to dinner and I will make myself available. I will not miss the opportunity to talk about myself. It’s my favorite subject. -TF