“Why are you avoiding this conversation with Curtis?” I asked.
“I know I should talk to him, but I just don’t like confrontation. His production is below par. I don’t think he is doing his best. But if I talk to him, he might get upset and his production might get slower,” Lauren explained.
“How do you define confrontation?”
“Curtis screws up and I call him on it.”
“And?”
“And he will try to defend himself with excuses. I will have to argue with his excuses. I will have to force my reasons against his excuses. I just want to avoid it,” she protested.
“What if you changed your definition of confrontation to a search for the truth. Instead of excuses, let’s find out what the real problem is and see if Curtis can fix it?” I suggested.
Sometimes, the way we understand a single word can change the way we see what we do. Many people avoid confrontation because it brings uncomfortable images. If we can see confrontation as a search for the truth, we can have the conversation with a more productive purpose.