This pandemic is not simple, it is incredibly complicated with tons of uncertainty surrounding it. And, I observe a deepening divide between medical conservatism and getting the country back to work. Some of these discussions are emotionally heated, vociferous.
Some have asked about my position. The instant we take a position, we stop listening. When we stop listening, we stop learning. You may think you are listening, but you are listening with bias, selectively seeking out only what you want to hear.
In our dramas, there are three groups of characters, heroes, victims and villains. One cannot exist without the other two. It is a co-dependent relationship, they draw and feed on each other. For any of the three characters to win in the drama, the strategy is NOT to be a more vile villain, a stronger hero, or a suffering victim. The winning strategy is to get off the stage.
Levels of Listening
- Ignoring completely.
- Pretending to listen.
- Selective listening.
- Listening to respond.
- Listening to understand.
- Listening for intersection, where we have common ground.
It is only when we find common ground that we can build a relationship.
Simple, but effective message.
Thanks, Tom!
I love this. I’m passing it along. Thank you!
I’m working on the last two points…..
Tom,
How do we get your position, this position to the masses. Especially to those that are in positions of leadership and those that have the power to impact people’s lives for a long time to come?
Tom,
That sounds like Karpman’s Drama Triangle.
Amen, brother. Particularly well said. If you don’t fall into the VVH trap, then you may have a hand in making a better world. This is why the polarized news is so bad, these days.