“But, what if my team just doesn’t want to listen to me?” Susan protested.
“And, how does that make you, as the manager, less responsible for the communication?” I asked.
“Yeah, but, if they don’t want to listen, how can I make them listen?”
“Indeed, how can you make them listen?”
Susan stopped, this wasn’t going anywhere. “I can’t make them listen. If they don’t want to listen, I have to figure out how to get them to want to listen.”
“That’s a start. Remember, as the manager, you are 100 percent responsible for the communication. So, how do you get them to listen in the first place?”
“Well, I guess I have to talk about things they are interested in. I have to get their attention.”
“And since you are 100 percent responsible for the communication, that is exactly where you should start. Speak in terms of the other person’s interests.”
You wanna be heard? You might start by listening. And if they aren’t talkin’, then ask them questions and develop a reason to listen. Here are some examples:
* How’s it goin’? [Really… Ask this and transmit a “I really care how it’s going” vibe.)
* [Optional] Ask the preceding in the context of their family/home/recreation/hobby… then make sure they’re taking enough time for themselves that they are refreshed and have the energy to care about work.
* Is there anything you need from me?
* Are there any obstacles I can help remove?
Then really, actively listen… maybe even take notes & let ’em know you care.
After you’ve established yourself as an ally and as someone who genuinely cares, then wait until they have a break and are able to concentrate on your message (i.e., don’t “bust in” in the middle of their work) and succinctly let deliver the message. And then ask more questions to make sure they really get what you have just said. Possibly set up some kind of quick & easy follow-up or to-do or check point related to the message, so there’s a performance-hook.
“You must be the change you want to see in the world.” – Mahatma Gandhi — So… if you want people to listen, you must listen yourself!
A couple more inspirational quotes:
“Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood.” – Stephen Covey in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
“Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.”- Jimi Hendrix
Thanks for the thought-provoking post!
Active listening seems to be the most overlooked and underutilized of all the leadership skills. Once we learn to listen, we can begin to effectively communicate.
The key to effective communication is to find what is relevant to your audience. How do you take a high level strategy and convince the hourly associates to carry it out? You do so by making it relevant to their roles in the organization. Marketers do this with everything from automobiles to candy bars. As managers, we need to become proficient at communicating a message using different methods and terms, yet remain true to the content.
In the tool kit of management skills, the ability to listen and to communicate are skills never perfected. Rather they are skills to constantly hone and to use.