“Why does Taylor think he is getting a raise?” I asked. Dana had talked to Taylor about coming in late everyday, but her Positive Sandwich sent a mixed message.
“I didn’t want to upset him by coming down too hard. I need him to change his behavior, but I don’t want him to be angry at me,” Dana replied.
“Why do you think he would be angry?”
“No one likes to be criticized.”
“How can you deliver the message, the direct message, without criticizing?” I challenged.
“I don’t know,” Dana relented. “Everyone is late sometimes, but this is beginning to have an impact on the rest of the team.”
“So, there is some criticism that needs to be stated. Remember, there are only two people in this conversation. How can that criticism be put on the table without you being the critic?” I pressed.
Dana’s face relaxed. “I can describe the behavior and ask Taylor to describe the impact of the behavior.”
“And what if Taylor’s analysis of the impact is weak?”
“Then I will have to ask him a better question,” Dana nodded.
Most managers feel they have to be the critic and often criticism (a judgment about behavior, a judgment about effectiveness) needs to be stated.
Effective managers get to the same place by asking questions.
Hi Tom.
Nice blog.
I have just read The Influencer.
(http://www.amazon.com/Influencer-Change-Anything-Kerry-Patterson/dp/007148499X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1249200965&sr=1-1)
I do strongly recommend it as this problem here is solved in this book.
I am leading about 25 people, and some arrive late way to often, I have fired people for it, and still others do follow the same path. Why is this?
It is very much down to benefits. Losing their job is not scary enough. And the benefit of sleeping 10 minutes more seem to be great. They do not know that the rest of us is having fun, drinking coffee and bonding for 15-20 minutes before work, because they never get to experience it.
This got me thinking, and I changed working hours for one of my employees to start at 07:40 instead of at 08:00, but he has to start working, and he can then leave 20 minutes before. What he will see and observe is other people having a cup of coffee, reading newspapers, talking and bonding. But he can’t join because he is working. Either, he will love to leave 20 minutes early, and that is ok, or he will want to be a part of the chatter club in the morning and postphone the work by 20 minutes and join in, even better.
I think he has to see the benefits for himself. And as I told him now, this is his last chance. If he arrives after 0800 he will be fired.
I have just started this, and so far he have not been late, but time will tell if he succeed.
Cheers.