“Watch what my mind thinks?” Rafael mused. “Okay, how do we do that?”

“What’s the purpose here?” I asked. “If we know the purpose, we can figure out what we need to do.”

“Well, the purpose is to create a different response, I can make, when my team asks me to solve a problem. The response has to be helpful, like a coach. You want me to step through how I would solve a problem and then teach it to them,” Rafael stopped, and smiled.

“As we do this, would it be helpful to write it down, so we don’t forget,” I prompted.

“We could do that,” Rafael replied.

“Okay, what’s the first step?”

“Well, first I have to know what the problem is.”

“Good, write that down.”

“No, I mean, before I know what the first step is, I have to know what the problem is.”

I didn’t say a word, just raised my eyebrows. I watched as Rafael arrived at the first step. Identify the problem. There is a coaching point here. I could have told Rafael the first step, but that would play into the same dilemma he was having with his team. The coaching point is NOT to tell people what to do, but to ask questions, to move them to their own conclusions. This is the same process we use in Working Leadership, only there, you get to talk back to me.