“She ignores me, like I am not even there,” Joan complained, “and I am her boss.” Joan joined the company as a manager nine months ago. One of her direct reports was a 12 year veteran with the company.

“What is going on?” I asked.

“I call a meeting of my staff, she doesn’t show. I walk past her in the hallway and she doesn’t acknowledge me. She is focus forward. I have seen personality conflicts before, but this one takes the cake.”

“How do you think you will gain her respect?”

Joan shook her head. “I just want her to be nice. At this point, I have about given up on respect.”

I waited for the pity party to settle.

“It is really very simple,” I replied. “All you have to do is bring value to her thinking and her work. Stimulate her thinking. Help her improve to the next level. You cannot gain respect by giving directives or demanding that she be a nice person. You can only gain respect by bringing value.”

Easy to say, difficult to do. On July 6, we will begin our Coaching Series in Working Leadership Online. Here are the topics.

• Jul 6 – Coaching – Bringing Value as a Manager
• Jul 27 – Coaching Underperformance – Time Span and the Employment Contract
• Aug 17 – Coaching High Performance – Time Span and Highest Capability

Stay tuned next week for a special offer for this series.