“So, how do you find out what they want?” asked Martin. “You know, sometimes I talk to them about stuff like this. Sometimes, I ask them what their goals are. And sometimes, they don’t have a clue.
“I know it’s important to get some alignment between what I want (or what the company wants) and what they want. But sometimes, I don’t think they know.”
“You are right,” I agreed. “Often, people don’t know what they want. Think about this, though. People want what they value.
“How important is it for you, as a manager, to find out what your individual team members value?”
Martin pondered a moment. “I am with you. It is important,” he replied. “But how do you find out about a person’s values when sometimes they don’t even know themselves?”
“Let’s start with the easy stuff,” I suggested. “What clues can you tell about a person simply from their appearance?”
“You mean, in terms of values?” Martin asked. I nodded. “Well, you can tell some things about a person by the way they dress. Attention to detail, neatness, or sloppiness.”
“I have an exercise for you, Martin. Remember, a person’s dress is only a clue, not absolute certainty. Nonetheless, I want you to make a list of your top three team members, and simply by the way they dress, write down some words that describe their positive attributes. I will meet you here tomorrow to talk about some other ways to determine values in other people.” -TF
“Values” has two entirely different meanings. One is in the context of “what a person values”, and the other “signifies a persons values”.
So my “value may be to give priority to family over work” but at the same time I “value money” and would be interested in something that leads me to it.
The idea being that at most times there would be a link between both but at the same time, the link is not essential.
I would go for a conversation where I address the thing a person values and the way to get there is in alignment with his values. And that is what you wished to convey?
Often, the conversation can only get started with a discussion of “what” people value, because they have no clue what their values are. A generation ago, values were a large part of our upbringing in multiple social groups, like the Boy/Girl Scouts, or as part of our religious training. As societies become more secular, our value systems are less formally learned. Our value systems are often not even part of our daily awareness.
Want to know what people value? This is when coffee comes into the picture. My experience is to take time for a cup of coffe with them, they’ll spontaneously tell you about what they value.