“In a conversation, how can you tell someone is ignoring you?” I asked.

“That’s easy,” Lawrence replied. “No eye contact, no questions, they look bored.”

“And in a conversation, how can you tell someone is listening attentively?”

“Well, this time they have eye contact, they stare at you.”

“And all the while you are talking, what are they waiting to do?” I continued.

Lawrence thought for three seconds. “Well, they are probably waiting to a word in edgewise.”

“And in a conversation, how can you tell someone is listening to understand?”

“Well, maybe they are taking notes, maybe they repeat back what they heard.”

“And in a conversation, how can you tell when someone is listening to learn?”

Lawrence was not so quick on this one. Finally, he ventured, “Well, they are listening to understand, but they are also listening to see how what I say fits with what they think.”

“Precisely,” I followed. “And it is at that moment that magic happens. At the intersection of what you think and what I think is the beginning of something new.” -TF