Miriam looked wide eyed as she explained what had happened. “I know I should have confronted the behavior straight away, but I didn’t. And now, she thinks it’s okay to be snotty and nasty to people when she doesn’t get her way.”
“How long has this been going on?” I asked. Miriam stopped. She didn’t want to tell me.
“Well, it pretty much started the first month she was here.” Silence. “Okay, about a year and a half.”
“And you haven’t spoken to her about her behavior?”
“At first I thought she was just having a bad day, then it turned into a bad week, then a bad month. By then, nobody wanted to go near her for fear she would rip their head off.”
“That bad?”
Miriam pursed her lips, looking sideways. “Well, not that bad, but she is just plain mean to people around her.”
“And what does your team think about the way you have handled it?”
“Oh, they must think I am very frustrated with her,” Miriam explained. “They know I am just afraid to say anything, even though I am the manager.”
“I don’t think so.” I lowered my eyes to look directly at Miriam. “After a while, you begin to stand for what you tolerate.” -TF
My first thought here is to ask the employee about what impression that she thinks she makes to other people on her team? I bet she isn’t aware of her own behavior and the effect is has on the team. Is seems like a bully syndroom, sometimes bully don’t realize what they do to their environment until their confronted with the fact.
Afterwards I would like to find out, what caused the behaviour? Is it plain fustration or something else.