From the Ask Tom mailbag:
Question:
I am a new manager in this company, but I have 6 years experience in my field, so, technically, I am qualified and have the drive to be good at anything I do. I have 2 employees that work directly under me and consistent problems with one. I feel like she resents me because she was overlooked for my position several times because she is a female. I sympathized at first, but after 4 months, it is very clear that her attitude and lack of drive to go the extra has been her problem. After one month in my new position without making any significant changes, I sat down with each of them and created in writing what I expect from them. They both signed, agreeing that the terms were fair.
Yet, even after our talk, she has been resistant to anything I have asked her to do and continues to argue with me about the way we do things.
I have verbally warned her that this behavior is unacceptable, but I feel like I need to write her up so it is on record that she has been warned. She wants more money (not the opportunity to make more, but to be GIVEN more) but I am ready to get rid of her. I am a very tolerant guy, but I feel that her resentment is causing her to not be able to change her attitude. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt, but I am exhausted. I want to praise her for doing a great job, but I can hardly get her to just do what I expect, much less exceed expectations…I NEED HELP!!!
Response:
I will hold my response until Monday. I am curious what my readers think. Has anyone ever had this person work for you? What were the symptoms? How did you handle it?
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Here is what I feel:
She was the 2nd choice for the post or may be the 1st one. So, clearly when both of them where at the same level, it can be assumed that at the functional level both of them performed well. For the sake of argument, lets assume that this guy is better than her, which is why he got promoted.
The Point is that, there is not a huge difference between both of them. So, her resentment is justified although it makes her look unprofessional. The problem is compounded by the fact that this guy is new manager too!
This guy cannot dictate terms with her. He need to talk to her and give her additional responsibility (not just goals) over the other guy in his team. With some degree of freedom and mutual respect, I am sure things will become better.
It appears as though the terms of the signed “agreement” were set without a conversation beforehand to work towards an agreement: “After one month in my new position without making any significant changes, I sat down with each of them and created in writing what I expect from them.”.
Almost anyone will sign such a dictated agreement, but if you want the employee to really feel that the terms of such an agreement are “fair”, give them an opportunity to have their input before the agreement is laid out. This doesn’t mean that they dictate all the terms, but that there is a conversation BEFORE the terms are laid out.
Expectations are a good thing and people like to know what is expected of them. She is bitter because she feels she was over looked and more qualified than you for the position you now hold.
The more you argue or punish her the more she will resist. She needs to feel that you are on her team and that you will support her as an employee. Right now she feels almost like she was betrayed and she doesn’t respect you as her manager.
Try sitting down with her and let her know that you aren’t out to get her and that you thought she was a great worker before you got moved up. Let her know that there was a reason she was even considered for the management position. If there is room for moving up reassure her of that. Be Positive then it will be her choice to still be negative about the situation.
This could help you avoid any further discipline.
Very interesting perspectives so far.
This situation is way beyond negotiation.Four months of indecison is horrible. “I am ready to get rid of her.” “I am exhausted” It is time to show her the door. Is the manager working for the company or for the employee? What does this tell the other employee about your management skills? The message you want to send is shape up or ship out. How fast can a ship go with an anchor dragging?
Mr. Cohen takes his kid to first grade class and tells the teacher to seat him in the front row and if he misbehaves “smack the kid next to him! That will get his attention.” So, if Cohen is right, you should fire the good employee as a lesson to the bad one. The message you are sending by unending tolerance is that you are a pushover.
Alrite .. so I think there is a lack of managerial drive really in this guy… reading on what is being said it appears that the guy knowingly or unknowingly appears to have dictated the terms which just added more fuel to the storm fire…
I would expect that before you get into a position in the new company there are a few things that should be read well:
1. Why is the Job Profile Open?
2. Why is the external person considered for the post?
3. Why are you there?
Post Joining
1. Who were the wana be candidates for the position?
2. whats the History of the last person in the same position?
these answers for sure will change the way you can approach to the team reporting to you and handle the day to day work in a much better way.
Secondly I think the best way to work this out for the moment will be:
1. Without letting the person know for sometime that you are not so very happy with the attitude you involve the lady more than what she is doing now.
2. Give her freedom wherever required not by dictating what she has to do but by putting a question on how best she can do it? A more true example is when I joined in as a PM in the current firm we had a resource who was looking for the position I was in. which I was completely aware of.. so while we had to design the technical architecture of the product which I was quite well versed with … I just let him do the way he wanted with a daily meeting with him on it and everytime I wanted something to be implemented I asked him will this be any better to do? to which he gave a thought and agreed.
3. Let her take more responsible and hold her Accountable for things not liable.
4. Let her do a bit of supervisory to the other member which will make her more happy.
5. Delegate some of critical tasks to her and take her help in handling them as well.
6. Give her the roadmap for the near future.
7. Take the Team out for Lunch/Dinner and talk out of office.
8. Not the least of the several things I have in my mind now … Have a CAT and ask her about her future plans and tell her what areas will she need to improve in sweet words to achieve them.
Your Views…
You have a real dilemma on your hands. If she is as qualified as you and was overlooked for the position, then her disappointment is being directed at you in the form of passive obstruction. If your subordinate believes there is a glass ceiling for her, she will never give her best efforts.
You need to make a truly objective appraisal of her strengths and weaknesses. Decide if the weakness can be eliminated through additional skills training or if it is inherent in her personality.
If she has the strengths to fill your position or a comparable position, then you need to meet with her to let her know that you will work towards the goal of getting her promoted to your position or equal to your position. If she needs training, coaching and/or mentoring to fulfill the duties of your position, then you must see that she gets it.
If she does not have the strengths to fill your position, then you must hold her accountable for her job description, up to and including demontion and/or discharge.
One of your core responsibilities as a manager requires you to nuture and improve the skills and abilities of your subordinates. You will not be in your position forever and it is incumbent on each of us to train/mentor/coach/guide the future generation.
Fire her. There are too many other talented people in the world. You don’t have time for her BS.
This is a tricky one, inasmuch as a meeting of the minds should have been reached much sooner. In order for this to be a win-win situation, some negotiation is required. When a new person is brought in as manager or supervisor of an established department, usually the original team members will have experiences and ideas that will be helpful and should be considered.
If a person is held to a standard that they helped to establish, it’s much easier for them and you to see where they’ve fallen down on the job, thus easing the way to written reprimand
It is clear that the individual contributor is living in the “victim quadrant”. The responsibility for her attitude is hers.
The manager, can either confront her with the truth of this and ask her how she will deal with the problem, or he can take action. As a manager I have dealt with employees who feel slighted, or disrespected when a choice assignment passes them by. It is a great time to have a conversation about their performance, or your expectations as a manager. It is also key for the manager to remember that each of us own our own responses to each situation. I have used an employees dissatisfaction with the status quo as a lever to challenge them to take ownership. This allows them to move out of the “victim quadrant”.
Here are some ways to do this:
1) Fish or cut bait – offer the employ a challenge (especially something that she would consider a choice assignment, perhaps with high visibility) – one that you believe will prove to you that the employee is truly capable or willing to deliver more than you have seen to date. The outcome of the experiment is empirical evidence that you can use to decide how to proceed. If both of you remain open and curious, both manager and individual contributor can learn from the experience. It definitely gives you material for the next conversation.
2) Honor the responsibility – owning her attitude is certainly something that you can respect. As a manager, you can hire her replacement, and give her the freedom to find a different situation. She can then decide how she wants to proceed, and you manage the short term risk of her leaving on short notice. If she is really unhappy, a change might be the best thing for her.
3) Lord its hard to be humble – sometimes, when you are given a role and the people reporting to you believe that they are also qualified to do your job, you need to recognize that the quickest way to win their trust is to bring this out in the open. Share that you recognize that the rolls could just as easily have been reversed. Explain that your success will depend on them, and vice versa. Your role is to remove obstacles, and enable them to be successful, and pass along the credit when they are, but to shield them from interference from above so that they can focus on the work. Ask them to contemplate how they would want their staff to be if they were in their shoes, and ask them how they would do your job differently. As a newish manager, you surely don't think that you have all the answers. Heck, I have been managing off and on since 1990 and I always rely on people who work for me to tell me when I am stupid. And most of the time, they are more than willing to do it!!! Being vulnerable and humble is a way to cut through the BS and attitude that makes things difficult.
I will admit that in my first gig as a manager, I had to terminate an employee because they simply would not leave the victim quadrant, and started to destroy the morale of the team. My boss had to order me to do it, because I was so young and green that I didn't know when to cut my losses. The fact that you are ready to make that decision, means that you may have been wiser than I was on my first go round. On the other hand, as I have grown and matured, I have found that most people can be rescued from the “VQ” and will ultimately respect you more for being patience, and helping them climb out of the hole. Theses employees will often go through walls and fire for you, because they know you wont leave them high and dry…
P.S. Tom – I have been reading for 6 months, and while you usually deal with issues for newish managers in “supervisory ” roles, and I am managing leaders and professionals the thought that you put into the stories continues to allow me to apply some of the concepts. In fact, I often use your stories as a way to steer leaders who work for me into better ways of thinking about their leadership style!!! Rock on!!!
Everybody has suggested many fine points that can be used to deal with this situation. I have found myself on both sides of the fence in the past. I have been promoted quicker and also have been pasted up for promotions by individuals that I felt were not as qualified as me. So her giving you this attitude and resisting you is something I empathize with, however the way you handle this will not only effect your career, it will effect hers as well.
Your question, “How do I deal with it?â€
Like I said earlier, there are many fine points that our fellow blogers suggested, here is my advice.
Sit down in a formal setting and simply have a conversation with her, not about work or what she is not doing. Get to know her as a person and let her get to know you as a person. A good way to start the conversation is to tell her about yourself, family, hobbies, education, and your professional experience, subjects that matter to you. An important note about this conversation is that it has to come from the heart, if you fake it she will be able to tell. Then let her reply.
Communication is a very important tool, you probably are communicating with her very clearly, but she is so flustered and emotional about your advancement she cannot listen to you clearly. First thing is first, build a relationship as a leader and get her buy in on you. Then after you get past the wall she has created, it sounds like you will be in a better situation to grow yourself and your two employees!
It’s easy to replace employees, its much more challenging to grow them.
Good Luck!
In the book, “Good to Great”, the authors emphasize the need to have the “right” people on the bus above knowing your destination. They explain that the moment you need to “manage” someone, everyone’s in trouble and the motivated team members will suffer when we indulge mediocrity. They pose these questions to us, “would you hire this person again?” and “if they suddenly came to say they were leaving for a new opportunity would you be disappointed?”. I believe “exhausted” already knows the answers to these questions. It might be the kindest thing for everyone involved to get her off the bus.
Another thought: If you have the freedom from your superiors to say and do whatever you want, you might consider offering her a challenge. My thought is that you could tell her that things clearly aren’t working with her as a subordinate. You could tell her that you are prepared to fire her and / or accept her resignation so that she can seek the management position she wants elsewhere. However, if she wants to return to you tomorrow with a plan that will promote the goals of the company and your department while making her efforts stand out, you will do all you can to support her and attempt to get her promoted and / or better paid within 1-2 years.
I had a guy working for me. Here are the primary things he said which made me want to fire him:
1. I’m 40 years old, I don’t want to keep learning new software.
2. You can’t do my job. You don’t have my skills. How can you be qualified to review my performance?
3. You know I can make a lot more money elsewhere. In fact I turned down a job offer for more money because I like working here.
To 1, I did not respond.
To 2, I told him I was his supervisor, and I am now supervising the guy who hired him, and it is my job to review his performance.
To 3 I wanted to say “You schmuck.” Instead I told him…actually I think I just walked away.
Eventually he was fired because he yelled at other employees, and did I mention he was a schmuck?
Anyway, a little different from your issue, but I have encountered most problem employees. Most of them resented me being their manager, sometimes because of my younger age, sometimes because they did not like my management style (get the work done asap and don’t complain) which has mellowed abit. But my attitude is, if you think your salary is fair, do your work and do a good job and you will get a raise when it is feasible. Or leave, no one is handcuffing you to your desk. There are lots of people looking for good jobs.