My coffee was piping hot, hazelnut with a little cream. Cheryl’s meeting was to start in a few minutes. She was determined to turn things around with her team. She was hired as a troubleshooter in Quality Control, but finding the problem and fixing the problem are two different things.
“So today, you said you were going to listen?” I asked.
Cheryl nodded “Yes.”
“What position will you be listening from?”
The question caught Cheryl off-guard. “I’m not sure what you mean.”
“The way we see the world is often influenced by our position. In fact, you have listened to your team before, but you were listening from a position of judgment, so you didn’t hear what they had to say.” I stopped to let that sink in. “What position will you be listening from today?” I repeated.
“I guess I will be trying to understand their point of view.”
“Not bad, but not aggressive enough to be effective. What position do you want to be listening from?”
Cheryl was stumped. “Curiosity?” she finally blurted out.
I nodded. “So, when you sit in your meeting today, you will be listening from the position of a curious child?”
Cheryl smiled.
“And curious children always have a lot more fun than stuffy old Quality Control managers,” I said. “And curious children often invent interesting ways to solve problems.”
—
My thanks to Clyde Horner for reminding about the “position we listen from.” -TF
That’s an interesting perspective. I’ve often managed to change my whole approach to a meeting by thinking through ‘Who am I today’ in role terms, but not in postioning terms.
Prospero,
This communication “Position,” as described, is a glimpse at a historical transactional analysis model involving the CP (Critical Parent) which always invites the RC (Rebellious Child) to respond. Once the Rebellious Child participates in the conversation, neither a NP (Nurturing Parent) nor an A (Adult) approach works. The only position to come from is the position of the CC (Curious Child) which invites either a NP (Nurturing Parent) or another Curious Child. You can trace these interactions throughout the conversation with Cheryl the past few days.