From the Ask Tom mailbag:

Question:

I am a young manager, 24 years old. Lately, I noticed that I can come across as nervous and anxious during certain situtations. When interviewing applicants for a position open in my department, talking to an employee about performance, speaking to the group, I sometimes feel as if that’s the last place I want to be. My heart rate goes up, hands start shaking, voice cracks. It is as if I have no confidence in myself and am afraid of the person I am confronting/dealing with. Do you have any tips or advice to improve self-confidence as a manager and not be so nervous when dealing with confrontation or taking a leadership role?

Response:

Every single manager I know, at times, has these same feelings. There are probably a hundred things you can do that will help, but let’s start with these two.

First, is preparation. My personal stress level goes up whenever I have properly prepared. For an interview, that means creating a written list of questions. Talking to an employee, that means defining the objective for the conversation and several points that need to be covered.

Second, is to breathe. Whenever we are placed in stress, our heart rate does go up and our breathing becomes shallow. Slow down and deepen your breathing. This physiological change will reduce your racing heartbeat and physically calm you down.

Any other suggestions, post a comment. -TF

“Hey, how is it going?” I asked. It seemed an innocent question.

“Oh, man, it’s rough. Our biggest competitor just lured away our Project Manager. The price of raw materials is going through the roof. We had a glitch in our computer system last week. I don’t know. I guess things are okay,” replied Marshall.

I stopped in my tracks. On the surface, it seemed like small talk. An innocent question. A little commiserating.

But words mean something. You are what you think. The only way I can tell what you are thinking is to listen to the words that you use. How do you describe yourself? How do you describe what is happening around you?

You are what you think. What you say is who you are. But take it one step further.

What you say is who you will become. How you describe yourself is who you will become. How you describe the world around you, is the world you are destined to live in.

“Hey, how is it going?”

How will you respond? -TF

The pictures look mangled. Well, they are mangled, at least the buildings are. Okay, so are the boats, and yes, there is also a mangled airplane.

I remember an essay about survival of the fittest. It referenced a scientific study, constructed somewhere in Minnesota. What survives?

What survives is not some eloquent species, particularly suited to a harsh element, drought or temperature. What survives is diverse adaptability.

The study focused on some ragtag patch of soil and plants that made it through a variety of conditions that killed off everything else. The surviving flora was distinct only through its diversity and its adaptability.

Power poles don’t adapt much.

“That which does not bend, shall be bent out of shape.”

Hurricane Wilma reminds us what it will take, not just to recover, to survive, but to take hold and thrive again. It will not be some super strength, but our diversity and our adaptability. -TF

Mad Max, the movie, provides an insight to the past few days in South Florida. Bands of people, patch together technology to manage a life which can oddly be called normal.

One week after Wilma, half of all schools are still without power and will remain closed for at least two more days. The proliferation of generators has created lines at gas stations by people on foot with gas cans. Others quietly wait by candlelight, taking cold showers and depleting their stock of canned goods. Even this blog has existed by virtue of a power inverter and a dial-up line strung through the window of my car.

“South Florida is nice,” explains a line worker, who has just descended from a power pole. “At least here, when we restore the power, people still have a home to hook it up to. They are very appreciative.

“Four weeks ago, in Mississippi, we would heat up the line, but there were no homes left. No cheering. No hoots and hollers. No dancing in the streets.”

Much to be thankful for. -TF

I spent some time with a group of firefighters. Their life is often described as periods of serenity interrupted by frenetic chaos.

But, during the serene time, I observed a great deal of activity spent in buffing and polishing their equipment and vehicles. It seemed more than mere maintenance and it peaked my curiosity.

“Why the extreme attention to detailing and cleaning, almost overboard, at times?” I asked.

One of the young guys on the crew spoke up, “What appears to you as extreme, for us is simply discipline. You can visit any firehouse, and the way they keep their equipment is the same way they fight fires. If they are sloppy in their maintenance, they will be sloppy fighting a fire. They will make poor decisions and will ultimately cost property, even lives. A team always plays the game the same way it practices.”

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As Hurricane Wilma passes overhead today, everyone be safe. -TF