From the Ask Tom mailbag:

Question:
I am the manager of a team of project managers and several administrative-type “bargained” folks. I have been working with this team for 4 years, and we added another administrative person one year ago. There is constant conflict between this person and the rest of the team.

She is a horrible team player, extremely negative and continues to isolate herself from the rest of the team. My team is extremely close knit, except for this one person. She continues to alienate and isolate herself socially from other people on the team, and increasingly gets upset because she feels like people are ‘avoiding’ her. She says that people completely ignore her – and that she hates to come to work because is constantly alone all day.

I have coached, done team meetings about communication, team work and team building. The rest of the team benefits, not her.

Today she came crying into my office again saying that her team members ignore her and how awful it is to work here. I am a busy professional with so much on my plate, I don’t have time to continue to work on this with her. I am scared to death about saying to her “maybe you need to find another job” because of her bargained status.

Response:
I need more information related to the “bargained” status. Why does this make her a sacred cow?

I would make a deal with her. You will help her find a role that fits her. That role may be on your team, on another team in the company or on another team in someone else’s company. Her choice.

You are not a babysitter. You are not a social worker. You are not a psychologist. You are a MANAGER. Start acting like one. You and your team have work to do. It IS your job to determine the task assignments for your team, provide them with resources, select the members of the team and evaluate each team member’s contribution to the goal. Because I will hold you accountable for the performance of your team, you must also have the authority to de-select a person from your team. (De-selection does not necessarily mean termination, just means this person can’t be on your team).

You can be absolutely supportive in helping her understand the contribution she has the capability to make, including being a valuable contributor to a team effort. If that fits, great. If it doesn’t fit, get her off the team. Help her find another place where she can be happy.

As a manager, you can be sensitive and straight. We have work to get done. If she wants to be a part, she’s on the team. If not, be straight and sensitive and help her find a place where she does fit and make a valuable contribution.