From the Ask Tom mailbag:

Question: (continued from yesterday)

I am a Regional Manager, responsible for seven locations across the Midwest. At times, I feel as if I am not in touch with their issues, challenges or daily routines. In fact, some are not even “available” for lunch or dinner when I am in town. Have I lost touch?

Response:

First, my question. When you do meet with your managers are you bringing real value to the conversation, or would they just as soon skip it? If you are bringing real value to their thinking and their work, your managers will look forward to these meetings. They will not miss these meetings for all the tea in China.

So, what does that conversation sound like? How do you, as their manager, bring value to their thinking and their work?

Most managers think they bring value by providing direction and advice. Of course, there are times when direction and advice are helpful, but please, don’t ask me to dinner so you can tell me what to do.

Instead, ask me questions. Ask me how I am doing. Really doing. Ask me about my challenges or difficulties. Ask me how I am solving my problems. Ask me how I feel about my job. Ask me how I feel about my life. No advice, just ask and listen. I would love to tell you how I am doing. I would love to tell you how I feel about my life, the things that are important to me. Come here, you can take me to dinner and I will make myself available. I will not miss the opportunity to talk about myself. It’s my favorite subject. -TF