Losing Control?

Raphael was glum.

“Why the long face?” I asked.

“I have been having difficulty with my team meetings. Everyone comes in looking ready to go, but about 15 minutes in, it’s like the energy has left the room, and I still have lots of stuff to cover. It’s a weekly meeting and is supposed to last for an hour, but people just seem like they are going through the motions.”

“How would you rate the engagement level on a scale of 1-10?”

“Well, it starts at around a 6, but it doesn’t take long to drop to a 2,” Raphael replied.

“What do you think is the problem?”

“It’s like I am talking, yet losing control at the same time.”

“What does that tell you about control?”

Raphael was stumped. “Do you mean, whenever I am talking, I am losing control?”

“Maybe. Think about it this way. In any conversation, who is in control, the person asking questions, or the person responding to questions?”

Raphael was quicker on this one. “Well, that’s easy, the person asking the questions.”

“So, if you want more control, stop talking and ask more questions.” -TF

One thought on “Losing Control?

  1. JQ

    Ahh, the ole salesman approach, clever. No wonder Socrates was so successful!

    I think pointed questions often have better results. Another little jewel is 3 positives for 1 negative rule. If you want to criticize a performance, zero in on 3 goods as well. This should have a double effect. The follower will recognize 3 strengths to continue and change the negative. Plus the follower feels his work is noticed and will not only be criticized.


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